


I Belong to You

by hoddypeak



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Canon Universe, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Kissing, Light-Hearted, No Spoilers, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-01-25 02:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21348565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoddypeak/pseuds/hoddypeak
Summary: Arranged marriage AUAnne always wanted to have her own love story, but not one that's decided for her.She doesn't want to fall in love with Gilbert, but after being thrown into many awkward situations with him, the walls around her begin to tumble down. It certainly isn't an easy ride for either of them.--a shirbert fic I decided to start writing as fan service to myself because I want lighthearted shirbert content in my life.
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 197
Kudos: 534





	1. Breakfast Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, it's me again!  
Something I've wanted to write since like E2, and now I've collected many funny ideas for this story and I feel confident enough to start with it :D
> 
> If you enjoy some lighthearted Shirbert content, this is the story for you!
> 
> HOX!! In this story, they both live in rich families. It will all be explained in the story, just give it a read!

A lot of things made Anne a lucky girl. She had finally found herself a forever home where she was loved and appreciated, and she had friends and so, oh so many beautiful dresses with puff sleeves. She lived in a manor that had enough rooms to accommodate 20 people, and she had her own horse. In a matter of years, she had become a real princess without a crown. She didn’t need one though; her life was just as glorious without it.

Her life was beyond anything she had dared to dream for in the orphanage. She couldn’t have been happier.

That, however, was put to a test one Saturday morning. Anne had woken up without a single ounce of worry in her mind, and she had sprinted down the multiple sets of stairs to reach the dining hall where Marilla and Matthew, her precious guardian angels that had saved her from the horrors of that orphanage, were already waiting for her.

If Anne hadn’t been so happy for no particular reason, she would’ve probably noticed the stiffness in Marilla’s oldened features and the nervousness in the drumming of Matthew’s foot against the floor, but she remained completely clueless to these obvious signs that told her that some news was about to be dropped on her.

“Anne,” Marilla began, observing the girl as she munched on a loaf of bread with a lot of enthusiasm, trying her best to chew fast so she could be finished sooner. “There is a matter we need to discuss with you.”

Anne turned her head in Marilla’s direction, smiling at her. Knowing some proper table-mannerism, she waited until she had swallowed the last piece of the bread before she spoke; “What is it?”

Marilla and Matthew shared a look, both equally unwilling to talk about the matter because of how sensitive Anne was.

Then Marilla turned to look at her and said; “Well, as you know, the Cuthbert family tree is very august and something to be proud of, and since you are now part of it, it is only justified that we expect you to want to keep it that way.”

Anne’s smile faded as her mind was feverishly going through everything she had done in the past few days that could’ve put their family name to shame. She had done nothing out of the ordinary except for falling into the Lake of Shining Waters with Diana when they had gotten too close to the edge. The temptation to see the bottom of the lake had been too big for her to resist. But that surely wasn’t a reason good enough to doubt how seriously she took the Cuthbert family tree?

“Of course,” Anne replied unsurely. She glanced at Matthew who looked like he wished to be anywhere else but where he was right now.

Marilla took a deep breath. “You’re turning 18 in a few weeks’ time, and that’s the proper age to start thinking about your future. Now, since it is important we keep the family name pure and highly valued, the matter of who you will share your future with is not to be taken for granted. As Avonlea is not a big town, the options are limited, and after several discussions and meetings, we think we have found just the perfect suitor for you.”

Anne blinked, gulped and gaped at Marilla. “A– a suitor?” she repeated shakily. 

“Precisely,” Marilla confirmed with a vigorous voice. 

With the way she was looking at Anne and how her voice sounded, she was clearly expecting the girl to lash out on her, yelling about how she didn’t want to get married to a stranger and how it was her future and she was the only one in charge of it.

Those thoughts did run through Anne’s mind, but she was no longer that fiery-tempered girl who spoke without thinking, and she knew better than to argue. Words of anger would get her nowhere in this situation, that much she had learned from the past. She had always known this day would come, but having to think about it at the age of 18 was a bit too rushed in Anne’s opinion. 

Just like Marilla, she took a deep breath, looked between the two dearest people in her life, and asked, her voice still slightly shaking; “Who is he?”

“Gilbert Blythe,” Marilla answered. “He comes from a family tree just like ours.”

Anne’s head was filled with two thoughts at the mention of the name: thank Heavens it wasn’t somebody with two brain cells like Billy Andrews. She didn’t know Gilbert Blythe at all.

The latter thought she voiced out loud, causing Marilla’s lips to curl into a small smile.

“That is nothing that can’t be fixed. We will be sitting next to the Blythe family in church tomorrow, and every once in a while, you will be spending time with Gilbert so that you will eventually become good acquaintances.”

Good acquaintances? How did Marilla manage to make marriage sound like an invitation for tea? Didn’t she think there needed to be something more, like feelings?

“What if I don’t like him?” Anne asked, already feeling like her question was stupid.

“You will just have to learn to like him. You did go to the same school with him, so you must know he is a decent man.”

“That was years ago, Marilla. I never really talked to him, and the only times I did, we argued about the most ridiculous things. Don’t you think a woman needs to find her intended a bit better than just ‘decent’?”

“I have no more to add to this. Tomorrow you will have a proper meeting and we will see how things go. I am sure he will want to walk you home after church, and that is a very convenient time for both of you to get to know each other. Just remember to be formal and don’t ask any overly personal questions,” Marilla said, and her voice had a final tone to it as though they were done discussing the matter.

“But Marilla, if I am to be stuck with Gilbert Blythe for the rest of my life, and he is stuck with me just as long, isn’t it better if he becomes familiar with my true nature immediately? I am not much of a thinker when it comes to questions, I have so many of them it’s impossible to consider which ones are appropriate and which aren’t.”

Marilla looked at Anne with shock written all over her face. “Goodness gracious, Anne, do not scare him away with your nonsense, just…try your best to have a civilised conversation with him, to see what he is like.”

Marilla looked at Matthew who instantly threw hands beside his head, not having any willingness to be part of this conversation. Anne was silent for a moment, thinking about the commitment she would have to make before she gave Marilla a nod and a weak smile.

“Am I…excused?” she asked carefully while standing up from the chair. She had barely touched her breakfast, but she had lost her appetite.

Matthew nodded, and Anne left the two in the dining hall looking completely perplexed by how calmly she had taken the huge news. Little did they know how there was an emotional storm inside of Anne trying to break through her ribcage, and the only reason she had remained calm was she didn't want to be a disappointment to them. 

She had always dreamt of having her own love story, but she never imagined it would be picked for her. It was like half of her purpose had been swallowed to the depths of darkness and she could never retrieve that part of her. 

As she ascended the stairs that led to her bedroom, she reminisced her school years and everything she remembered about Gilbert. She faintly recalled how he looked – dark-haired, tall, rather handsome and well-mannered. A year or two older than her. A man straight out of a novel. Every time they had shared a conversation, and those moments were very few indeed, they had had a very heated discussion about something. How was she ever going to be happy with someone she only knew how to put up a fight with?

To see what Gilbert Blythe was made of, she needed to prepare herself for the possible escort on Sunday. Screw the rules, she was going to put him to a real test.


	2. Wink, Wink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Anne and Gilbert meet each other. Gilbert may be enjoying himself a bit too much. Wink, wink ;)

As Sunday arrived, Marilla rushed to Anne’s room early in the morning to ensure she had enough time to get herself ready. Anne slammed her palm against her eyes when Marilla opened the curtains and let the daylight pour into the room, and an especially annoying ray of sun cast its light right on her face.

“Rise and shine,” Marilla said in a tone of excitement as she proceeded to open the last curtain.

Anne groaned.

“You will wear your finest attire today, it is such a big occasion and you must look your absolute best.”

“Won’t one of my Sunday dresses do?” Anne asked sleepily, enjoying the last moments of darkness her palm provided her. “I’m quite fond of them and they don’t stand out.”

From the sounds of it, Marilla stopped walking around the room and for a while it was silent. Anne had a wild thought that she had left her room, so she took her hand from her eyes and looked around. Marilla was standing at the end of the bed, looking at Anne with a pondering look.

“You don’t want to make a good first impression?” she asked.

Anne shook her head. “How much does a man care about what I am wearing? Gilbert didn’t even bat an eye when I had to cut my hair, and that was a very dramatic change in my appearance. Besides, it’s not like he has any other option since you’ve already bonded us for life on a piece of paper, so what I wear will not make any difference. I just don’t want to look different from everybody else and get judging looks, this day makes me nervous as it is.”

Marilla’s thoughts could be read on her face. She was thinking hard and trying to decide whether to give in or be strict and make the girl wear something else. She opened her mouth and closed it again, failing to form words.

Finally she said; “Very well, you may choose one of your Sunday dresses.”

Anne gave her a wide grin as a thank you, and with that Marilla exited her room. She got out of her bed and moved towards the wardrobe that held all of her dresses. There were so many of them she didn’t know when she had time to wear them all. She wanted to make sure she gave her love to each of the dresses as she hadn’t had a chance to do so when she was younger, so she decided to go for one she had never worn before. It was light blue, long-sleeved (with magnificent puffs), high-waisted and the skirt had a fringed overskirt to give her a more elegant shape. It was slightly fancier than anything she had ever worn for Sunday church, but she gave it a pass nonetheless. 

She stood in front of her mirror for the longest time, staring at her hair. She had braided the other side while having the other one open, unable to decide which way she preferred it. On one hand, her braids were more iconic, but on the other hand, her hair had such beautiful natural curls this morning and it would be a shame to waste them…

Anne wasn’t sure if she wanted to impress Gilbert Blythe or not. She knew she didn’t have to. Even if she wore a potato sack to the church and looked like she didn’t know what a hairbrush was, Gilbert still had to marry her. Eventually. 

She let out a loud sigh at the unfairness of the situation. Why couldn’t she be free to choose who she spent her entire life with? 

Marilla’s voice called for her somewhere in the house. Anne couldn’t make out what she said, but the words sounded alarmingly much like ‘we will be late if you don’t hurry up’, so she ran out of her room and sprinted down the stairs as fast as she could. Matthew and Marilla were both ready and waiting for her in the hall, and the expression Marilla wore on her face was evidence enough to Anne that there was something wrong with her attire.

“Why is your hair like that?” she asked with dilated eyes.

“Oh,” Anne said and looked down at her one braid. She opened it and unbraided it as she explained; “I couldn’t decide which way I should have my hair today, and then you called for me and I didn’t have time to settle for either of the options. I think I will have to keep my hair open today because I don’t have another tie on me.”

“Very well. We need to leave earlier as we need to pick up Rachel and Thomas on our way to the church. Their cart broke down yesterday and it can’t be repaired until Tuesday. Don’t say Rachel a word about today or you won’t be hearing the end of it.”

Anne nodded solemnly. “Trust me, Marilla, I would’ve kept my mouth shut even without your fair warning.”

The nearer the church came, the more nervous Anne grew. Although it was only a handful of people that knew about her and Gilbert’s courting, she felt like everybody had their eyes on her and was observing everything she did. She felt exposed, and not even Rachel’s endless chatter was enough to stop her from thinking about everything that could go wrong and the ways how she could possibly embarrass herself in front of Gilbert today. She could only hope he was as nervous as she was, so it all would be a little bit easier to handle. 

When they arrived at the church – way too soon in Anne’s opinion – its surroundings were already packed with people updating each other on their lives and sharing the latest gossips. The thought of her and Gilbert being the subject of Sunday gossips in a matter of time made Anne swallow so hard it hurt her throat. 

She didn’t need to look for him. It was like he knew the exact spot Matthew always stopped their cart because he was standing there, just a few feet from her. 

Anne jumped out of the cart and landed directly next to Gilbert. He was smiling. Anne couldn’t return the gesture because of how nervous she was, but she looked at Gilbert from head to toe instead. She could’ve sworn he hadn’t been that tall the last time she saw him, and he most certainly hadn’t been so…handsome and confident in his own skin. His smirk gave Anne the impression he thought he owned the world or something. 

“Good morning, Anne,” Gilbert said. Had his voice always been so pleasant to hear? “It’s been a while.”

“Good morning, Gilbert,” Anne replied. She hoped her voice sounded stupid only in her own ears. 

Rachel emerged from the other side of the cart and Anne stopped looking at Gilbert. The last thing she wanted was Rachel to be the one to start the Sunday gossips about them. She would make sure that even the people from Charlottetown knew about it.

The feeling of being observed didn’t go away even when they entered the church. Anne was too aware of every single step and movement she made, and she felt light-headed. Why did this have to be so nerve-wracking?

When they were seated on the church benches, Anne made a mistake and looked at Gilbert. He winked at her.

Like, winked. W-I-N-K-E-D.

Anne stared. Her mouth fell open and she couldn’t shut it. Thankfully they were sitting at the end of the row so there was nobody next to Gilbert to witness this moment. She slowly turned her head towards the altar next to which the priest was already reading the bible. 

She could already feel it was going to be a long morning.

Things had gone just as Marilla had predicted; after the worship, Gilbert had asked to have the honour of walking her home. He had done it in front of Rachel who, despite her stupid chatter, was not a stupid person and it only took her three seconds to figure out what was going on. Anne had wanted to say no, but she didn’t want to disappoint Marilla and Matthew, so she had reluctantly nodded and left the others behind. 

“Do you think it was funny to wink at me? In church of all the places? Do you know how outrageous Marilla would have been if she had seen it?” Anne asked Gilbert the moment nobody was within earshot.

“Nobody saw,” Gilbert said and waved his hand dismissively.

“I did,” Anne said. “I may not be the most traditional girl, and I solemnly think that is because I was never taught any traditions until I was 13 – it is ever so much easier to learn when you’re younger – but I have been taught what good manners are, and I can swear on my life that winking at a girl in church is not part of them.”

“I see you haven’t lost any of that temper of yours,” Gilbert stated amusedly.

“I have, you are just doing a very good job at bringing it back,” Anne snapped.

He looked at Anne for a moment before sighing. “Alright, I am sorry, it wasn’t appropriate. I just couldn’t resist.”

“I figured that one out,” Anne replied with a sniff.

They didn’t talk for a minute. Anne calmed down a bit and she didn’t feel that anger bubbling inside her anymore. This must’ve been visible on her face because Gilbert rushed to break the silence.

“So, how do you feel about this?” 

“It’s a lot to take in, and this was definitely not the turn I imagined my life to take, and at the moment I feel a little bit confused and unsure, but I want to make Marilla and Matthew proud because they’ve done so much for me,” Anne answered honestly. She supposed it went beyond the ‘nothing too personal’ rule Marilla had told her about, but she also didn’t care. 

Gilbert looked at her with a thoughtful look, weighing down her words and deciding what to make of them. All that time he was smiling – did he ever stop doing that?

“Well, I hope we will get along,” he said sincerely. “I’m not sure I want another slate smacked over my head.”

“You deserved that one.”

“I know.”

Anne went back to the times she was 13 in her mind and that moment was still imprinted into her brain like it had happened yesterday. She had such a bad temper back then, but now she was grateful she had taught Gilbert a lesson – she hoped it helped him realise she would always put up a fight if she felt injustice had taken place. She didn’t want her feet to be stepped on, especially not by anybody that thought they were superior to her because she happened to be a woman. 

She had never seen such behaviour from Gilbert, though, so perhaps she didn’t need to find another solid object to smack him over the head with?

“How about you?” she asked. “How do you feel about this?”

Once she said it, she wished she could’ve taken her words back. She feared the answer because Gilbert could just tell her how much he despised the idea of having a future with her, and then Anne had to live with that knowledge for the rest of her life. 

“I’ve always known I won’t have a lot say on with whom I will share a future, so my only fear was that it was going to be with someone I didn’t like.”

Anne felt her insides sink to the bottom of her stomach and she mentally prepared herself to be offended by Gilbert’s next words.

“I’m glad it was you,” he added.

She stopped dead in her tracks for a split second out of mere shock, but she recollected herself and picked up the pace again. She felt relief wash all over her body.

At least her intended didn’t hate her.

At long last they arrived at Green Gables and the large house stood in front of them. Anne saw the cart in front of the front door, which could only mean one thing; Marilla and Matthew had never dropped the Lyndes off and they were inside. If they had done that, the cart would be on the other side of the house. 

Anne let out a frustrated sigh and Gilbert glanced at her curiously, but she didn’t elaborate. She quickly fixed her pose and looked at Gilbert with a smile, trying her best to act properly under the peering eyes of Rachel. She didn’t see her, but Anne was sure Rachel saw her.

“Thank you for your delightful company,” she said, weirded out by how strange that sounded after having an informal conversation with the man that stood in front of her. “It was exquisite to know a bit more about you.”

Gilbert furrowed his eyebrow at her stiffness but decided not to comment on it. “Likewise,” he replied and looked at the house. 

Anne did so, too and she could spot one of the curtains move and a figure appear behind it. There was no mistaking in Rachel’s round face. Anne rolled her eyes and sighed again, this time very dramatically.

Gilbert didn’t seem to mind Rachel’s presence in the window, but he did walk to Anne’s front so that the only thing the older woman saw was his back.

“I’ll see you around, then?” he asked with that gentle smile of his.

“See you around,” Anne replied and returned the smile, though not as broad as his.

His smile widened and it had sort of a mischievous look to it. He looked around, turned back to Anne and gave her yet another wink.

Anne gasped. “Gilbert Blythe!” she hissed.

He simply laughed as he bid his goodbye and began retracing their tracks. Anne watched his receding back mouth open.

Never in a million years could she fall in love with such a bold man.


	3. A Marvelous Idea Gone Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!
> 
> I will be away from my laptop until Saturday, so I won't be able to update until like Monday I think! I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can :)
> 
> Enjoy!

All of Avonlea knew. The speed at which the news had spread had impressed Anne even though she didn’t like Rachel’s gesture – the old woman had specially told her that such sensitive and important matters shouldn’t spread through gossip, but yet somehow a woman Anne had seen once or twice in her life had come to congratulate her no later than the next Tuesday when she and Marilla had been walking home from the town. 

When she met Diana the next day, she didn’t receive the support she wished she had after she poured her heart out to her about everything that troubled her about this situation.

“But the Cuthberts are a very rich family, and they care about the reputation of their family. Neither Marilla nor Matthew have children of their own, so I don’t think it was irrational of them to expect you to honour their high status in society. Most people in highly respected families don’t get to marry for love anyway.”

Diana was standing at the end of her bed while Anne was laying on it, eyes fixed on the ceiling yet not focused on anything on it in particular, wearing an expression that made her look like she was lost in the deepest corner of her brain. 

“I’m not sure my commitment to their family tree counts, Diana. I am not related to them by blood although being so has always been one of my deepest desires, so whoever I marry isn’t even going to be shown anywhere.”

“It must count for something, otherwise they wouldn’t have made the agreement. Besides, at least it’s Gilbert Blythe you’re marrying – he’s a sight to the eye,” Diana said a bit dreamily. 

“There’s much more to a man than his looks. I am more interested in what’s going on inside his head, though I won’t deny what you said about him. I still can’t believe he was being so bold, it was, after all, our first proper meeting after years. I was so taken aback by his teasing I completely forgot to go through with my own plan I had for the escort.”

“You had a plan?” Diana asked in deep interest. 

When Anne tore her eyes off the ceiling to look at Diana, she could see her lips curled into an excited smile. 

“I did. I was planning to ask him very personal questions and see what his values are.”

Diana’s smile vanished. “You were going to ask such questions? You surely know how inappropriate it is to go deeper than the surface during the first few months?”

“Of course I do, Marilla and Rachel gave me two very strict lectures on that matter which made me realise how outdated and ridiculous the customs for courting are. But I also need to know what I am getting myself into. Besides, he didn’t show any respect to the customs either. Winking at me in church and in front of my home, I can’t believe it!”

“He was very bold, but you could be the sensible one and show him that you know how to be proper,” Diana suggested. Anne snorted as a response and it was quiet between them for a moment. “So, will you ask him those questions next Sunday?” Diana asked after a while.

“No,” Anne replied absent-mindedly, and suddenly a brilliant idea popped into her mind. “I’m going to do it tonight.”

“What? Tonight? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Diana asked in an alarmed tone. She clearly didn’t think very highly of Anne doing something so rash.

“I think it’s a marvelous idea, my dearest Diana. I want to be even worse to him than he was to me so he will learn not to tease me anymore! After that we just may be able to start courting with the appropriate rules!”

Diana looked like she wanted to disagree, but after so many years of friendship she knew doing so would be no use; once Anne set her mind to something, she always made sure to go through with it sooner or later. 

And that she indeed did.

She waited until it was past midnight – she had no idea what Gilbert’s usual bedtime was and she wanted him to be asleep when she arrived – before she got out of her bed and undressed her nightgown and put on the same dress she had been wearing in the daytime. She tried to make no noise as Marilla was a light sleeper and she sometimes woke up when Matthew sneezed a tad bit too loud in the next room. 

The door to her room seemed to be extra loud that night – it creaked from its hinges and Anne made a face at the sound, then proceeded to open the door inch by inch. Once the door was open just enough for her to sneak out, she took her shoes in her bare hands and sprinted down the stairs with only socks on. The only maiden of the house was fast asleep in the guest room, so she didn’t need to worry about running into anybody. Her only concern was to get out as silently as possible. 

She went through the back door as it was the farthest exit from Marilla, making it less likely for her to wake up to its sound. Once she was outside, she felt a rush of excitement wash through her body. Having no light source on her, she ran to the stable to her horse.

“Good night, Belle,” she said in a whisper. “Would you fancy a nocturnal adventure? I’ve got an important mission, and I can’t do it without the best horse in all of Avonlea.”

She hadn’t thought about how to gain Gilbert’s attention, was the thing. He didn’t live in the house alone, so she couldn’t just burst in and make an absolute fool of herself in front of his father and whoever lived in there.

Anne stood still for a while, coming up with an idea. She studied every corner of the outside of the house and its surroundings and her eyes were fixed upon some rocks on the ground. 

She squinted her eyes. What if…?

She got nothing to lose, so she trotted to the stones, picked the smallest ones up and looked carefully through the windows of the Blythes’ house. It seemed to have two floors, and she knew for a fact that the bedrooms were always located upstairs, so now she needed to decide which one of the windows was going to be her target. 

The windows didn’t give away much. They all looked the same and it was impossible to see anything in the dark. Anne walked to the backyard and her plan began to seem worse by the second, until she saw a window with some papers attached to it.

Sticking papers onto a window sounded like a very Gilbert thing to do. It had to be his bedroom. 

Anne dropped the small rocks to the ground and corrected her posture, placing one foot a bit forward and the other behind, she threw her first rock. She did hit the house, but not the window, so she threw another. That one she didn’t miss. She waited in case that had been enough to wake Gilbert up, but there was no sign of movement or lights being lit, so she took another rock. 

She didn’t realise how much bigger that rock was or the damage it could do. When it hit the window, there was a very loud sound of glass breaking, and on the spot where the stone had hit there was now a big crack.

Anne slapped her hand in front of her mouth and stared at her doing in horror.

“Oh no,” she said against her palm.

A light was lit in the room, and Anne’s first instinct was to find cover. She ran behind the nearest tree and was afraid to even peek. She had no idea what she was going to do. If she ran for it, she’d surely be spotted, but if she stayed here, she was going to be caught. The mere thought of the exasperated look on Marilla’s face upon hearing the news was enough to send her on the verge of tears. 

She heard a door open and slam shut and she closed her eyes and breathed heavily. Why did she have to put herself into these sticky situations all the time?

“Anybody here?” she heard Gilbert’s voice some distance away from her. He didn’t sound angry, so that was a good sign.

Knowing she could never live with herself if she didn’t come clear about this, she shamefully stepped out of her hiding and waited until Gilbert saw her.

“Anne?” he said in utter confusion. 

He was wearing nothing but a white pajama. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said in the sincerest voice ever. “So, so sorry.”

“Did you just break that window?” he asked, pointing at it with the lantern he held in his hand.

Anne nodded. “I wanted to have my revenge on you after you winked at me so boldly on Sunday, but trust me, it was never my intention to break anything, I just wanted to wake you up!”

“You do realise there are other ways to wake someone up?”

“I do, I most certainly do! My ill-fitted temper must have taken over my brain, I don’t know what I was thinking! I will cover the cost of that window, I promise! Maybe they were right about me after all, I am such a wicked girl!”

Gilbert laughed. Anne stopped talking and looked at him with bewildered eyes. Why was he laughing? Why wasn’t he yelling at her? That wasn’t a normal reaction to having your window broken!

“Well, you did succeed in taking your revenge–“

“That wasn’t how I wanted to do it!”

“–so I’ll give you that. Don’t worry about the window, though, Father knows a lot of people that can fix it tomorrow.”

“But I feel so terrible for being such a burden, please let me help somehow,” Anne pleaded, but Gilbert chuckled. “Why is this so funny to you?” she asked sharply.

He shook his head while grinning. “It’s just…I was expecting it to be completely somebody else, like a thief or something. You were the last person I thought of to be here, and you have to admit that this is really hilarious.”

“I find this tragical and embarrassing rather than hilarious,” Anne said indignantly and kicked a rock she didn’t get to throw. It was surprisingly heavy so it left a very unpleasant sensation in her toes, but she wasn’t going to show Gilbert that she was now in physical pain, too.

He bent down and grabbed the rock Anne had kicked. He turned it around his hand, thinking about something with an amused smile on his face, until he looked at Anne again. “So, what is the reason you wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night for?”

Anne groaned. “Oh, Gilbert, after such a tragedy I am not going to make myself look like a maniac. I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore, so you’ll have to wait until Sunday.”

Gilbert raised his eyebrow and looked curiously at Anne. 

“Alright, Sunday it is then.”


	4. Those Who Get Mud in Their Shoes Together, Stay Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!!! I told yousens that I wouldn't be able to update until Monday, but I was able to bring my laptop with me on my small trip and I could write this chapter in the evenings :D
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Anne thought Sundays were beginning to lose their charm lately. Previously she enjoyed them very much as it was a real joy to read the school newspaper and see how passionate the kids were about the matters they had written about in their own articles, and Anne also loved to meet every Avonlean and say her greetings to them and perhaps ask some of them how their week had been.

However, it was the second Sunday in a row she’d have preferred to pass like such day didn’t exist in the calendar. Before she got off the cart, she was already being bombarded with questions about her and Gilbert, and someone had the nerve to ask when the wedding was going to be. Then another woman had reminded them that Anne wasn’t turning18 until after two more weeks, and when Anne said marrying was not on the top of her list of things she wanted to do right after turning 18, nobody seemed to believe their ears and another flood of questions took place.

When some of the women were in the middle of their ‘why marriage is the greatest accomplishment in women’s lives’ speech, Anne couldn’t have been more grateful to find Gilbert and his father standing in front of the church, conversing with Matthew. She quickly excused herself and left the crowd, but once she approached Gilbert, she suddenly remembered the reason she was dreading this Sunday with all her heart, and the company of the women seemed tempting again.

When Gilbert spotted her and their eyes met, there was no doubt that they both were thinking about the same thing; that utterly and unspeakably embarrassing night that probably reassured Gilbert that Anne didn’t have a single ounce of sanity in her brain. And, to be fair, Anne wasn’t sure she had that, either.

He had looked all serious when he hadn’t yet seen her, so why did he have to smile like that the moment he noticed her? Didn’t this man know any other way to approach her? His overly-smiley being was making Anne nervous.

She wasn’t going to look at Gilbert in the church. She was going to sit next to him like there was an empty seat because there was no way she’d give him a chance to make fun of her. 

When Gilbert asked her permission to let him walk her home, Anne shook her head.

“I suggest I walk you home,” she said, intently looking at Gilbert to see how he’d react to this. “I believe there needs to be an equal balance between the man and the woman in a relationship, and I do not believe it is very fair if you are always the one to walk an extra mile for me.”

“I don’t mind walking, though,” Gilbert responded, eyebrows drawn together in thought.

“Neither do I,” Anne said determinedly. 

Gilbert looked at her for a moment, trying to decide whether she was being serious or she was only testing him to see if he was a gentleman at all. Anne was both – serious and testing him. This was part of her ‘I want to see who I am going to spend the rest of my life with’ examination, and seeing how he’d react to being the one being escorted home would tell her a lot about him.

“Alright, then,” he finally said and his smile was back.

A strange rush of relief washed over Anne and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling back at him. 

They had walked for about ten minutes, and Anne was trying her hardest to keep Gilbert busy with her questions so that he didn’t have time to tease her about the broken window. Even though she knew she deserved all the humiliation, she preferred to live without it if she had a chance. She would be fine with scolding and Gilbert telling her how she was a disgrace to the Cuthbert family, but that man didn’t seem to know how to be properly angry at a person. He turned everything into something to laugh about and laughing was the last thing in Anne’s mind when she thought about that unfortunate night. 

Anne asked Gilbert many questions. She found out that he was studying to be a doctor at a university about a 20-minute train ride from Avonlea. It had been his biggest dream since he was 15, but he wasn’t yet sure about his plans after finishing medical school. He had brothers and sisters but he was the only child alive, and it was just him and his father now. And when Anne had asked him what he thought about women’s role in marriage and when Gilbert said he saw them as equals, Anne had made an inhumane noise out of relief and excitement. She just couldn’t believe her luck that her intended had the same view on this matter as she had; she was sure she could count men that thought that way on one hand and still have a few fingers clenched into a fist, ready to punch someone with irrelevant opinions.

Anne let her eyes linger around their surroundings and they got fixed upon a large field. She had an idea.

“Isn’t the way shorter if we walk through that field?”

Gilbert looked at the field. “It is a shortcut, yes.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

“What? Seriously?”

“Yep,” Anne replied with a popping P, already at the edge of the field. “Don’t you love taking different routes where not every step you take is familiar? I think it’s thrilling to discover new paths!”

Gilbert really had no choice but to follow her. Anne closed her eyes as she took a few running steps and enjoyed that chill Spring breeze against her cheeks. She let out a giggle out of joy and spun around twice.

“Oh, I do love Spring! It’s the time to start new adventures, to discover something new and to make some great decisions! I am so glad we have a proper spring in Avonlea, it would be such a shame to live in a place where Winter and Spring sort of blend in together, so you can’t really tell when they end and begin.”

Gilbert didn’t reply instantly, and his silence made Anne curious. She turned around and the wind caught in her hair, making it float in the air. She saw Gilbert looking at her with a smile and soft eyes. 

“Beautiful,” he said, not losing a single bit of that fondness in his features.

“I know, Spring is ever so lovely, though I must say I prefer Autumns.”

“What? Oh, right, yea, Spring is beautiful, too.”

Anne tore her eyes off Gilbert and looked forward so he couldn’t see the bright shade of red that was now her cheeks.

They walked across the field that was beginning to be the perfect definition of why some people despised Spring with all their hearts. Since the field wasn’t owned by anyone, nobody was there to take care of it, which was why it was in such a terrible condition. Large ponds of water and mud filled the middle part, and there was no other way across them than to walk over them. Anne was giving it her upmost best to walk on the mud without ruining her Sunday dress, but that turned out to be impossible; its hem was already stained with grey substance. Her shoes and white socks didn’t look like something Marilla was going to be happy to see.

“That talk about discovering new roads?” Anne panted as she accidentally landed on a massive pile of mud and she could feel how it entered the inside of her shoe. “I take it back, I absolutely hate this!”

Gilbert burst out laughing, then there were running steps behind her and he soon appeared by her side. 

“Here, allow me,” he said and reached out his hand for Anne to take. 

She grabbed it without hesitation and he helped her pull out her foot out of the mud. She lost her balance and she took a couple unintended steps towards Gilbert, causing their bodies to clash. Thankfully he was somehow prepared for it, so he didn’t trip over and fall back first into the mud. 

Anne quickly removed her hand from Gilbert’s and took a couple of exaggerated steps away from him, looking anywhere but at him.

“Thank you,” she mumbled awkwardly as she looked down at her feet. She heaved a sigh at the sight. “Marilla’s going to kill me.”

“Most likely,” Gilbert agreed amusedly and continued walking. 

Anne followed him right at his heels, trying not to lose her balance when the mud moved underneath her feet every time she stepped on a new spot. Didn’t the mud ever end?

“You must think I am a lunatic,” she said in a bitter tone that she directed at herself. “First I break your window, then I want us to take a shortcut and now we’re both covered in mud. I don’t like it how the many Anne’s in me are fighting against each other every step I take.”

“I don’t think you’re a lunatic,” Gilbert replied very seriously. “All of this is very…you.”

“Very me?”

“You always had these…unexpected ideas back when we went to Avonlea school, and even though many of them were absurd, you always managed to get many of us involved because your passion for what you did and believed in had an impact on all of us. I’m just glad you haven’t lost your enthusiasm.”

“Breaking windows hardly tells anything about my enthusiasm,” Anne said sadly, but she couldn’t help feeling grateful for what Gilbert had just said. 

After what felt like forever, they finally arrived at the end of the field and they could already see Gilbert’s house standing on top of the hill. 

“Why do you stick paper onto your window?” Anne asked suddenly as the thought just came into her head and left her mouth just as fast.

Gilbert smiled. “They’re my human anatomy papers. It’s easier to study them when they’re at your eye level when doing school work.”

“You have drawings of naked people on your window?”

He choked on air. “You...you just made it sound unnecessarily weird.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“But technically yes, though they’re not detailed.”

“Fascinating,” she replied, not exactly knowing how she was expected to react to this piece of information. 

“If you say so,” he chuckled, turning to look at his house and then he grinned at Anne. “So, I’ll be seeing you next Sunday unless you–“

“I’m not repeating my nocturnal adventure. Contrary to popular belief, but I don’t willingly embarrass myself, and if there’s one good thing about me making mistakes it is the fact that I learn from them and therefore never repeat them,” she cut him off.

Gilbert couldn’t suppress a grin. He shook his head like he didn’t believe Anne’s words for a second. She didn’t have any desire to be reckless again, and she needed to be as good as possible after ruining a pair of her better shoes on that field. She could already hear Marilla’s voice telling her she would have to wear them as a reminder of why one shouldn’t walk on fields in Spring. And because Anne learned from her mistakes, the next time she was going to walk on one would be in Summer when there were six sunny days to one rainy. 

The thought of summer made her a bit sick. Would she already be married to Gilbert by the time the fields were dry enough to walk on again?


	5. On the Edge of Nerves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii again!  
In this chapter, Anne is having a little freak-out about her future. Marilla's the lucky one to hear it :D
> 
> I hope you like it!

Anne was silently freaking out. On the outside she appeared just fine, excluding the shakiness in her voice and her sweaty palms, but on the inside she felt like she was set on fire and her soul was screaming for help.

She was only now beginning to understand her situation and what it actually meant for her. It had been a few weeks since the news about the shape of her future was revealed to her, and in the past she had been somehow able to block the seriousness of the situation out of her mind. Spending time with Gilbert hadn’t been so bad because after their first walk together, they had never brought up the matter again. Diana knew it was a touchy subject to Anne, so she had been avoiding it collectively. Rachel she hadn’t seen much, and that woman seemed to be mainly interested in their cart that kept on getting broken, and whenever Anne did see her, it was the only thing she talked about. Marilla, and especially Matthew, didn’t like to push something onto her, so they hadn’t talked about it with her much either. And as for the town’s people, such arranged courtships weren’t so uncommon in the island, so the interestingness of the subject died out rather quickly.

So she had been able to push it out of her mind, thinking it was something she could deal with later. However, her mind had seemingly decided that ‘later’ was now, at the door of her 18th birthday. She would be of age in a matter of days, and wasn’t that when everyone was expecting things to happen? She and Gilbert weren’t even officially engaged yet, but did that even matter when it came to arranged marriage? 

“Marilla,” she began carefully.

They were sitting in a parlour. Marilla was working on embroidery, eyes slightly squinted in concentration as she followed the outlines of the image she had drawn on the piece of fabric. She jumped at the sudden appearance of Anne’s voice, and she looked around to locate the girl.

“Yes?” she said, putting the embroidery down on her lap and smiled at Anne.

Anne twirled a lock of her hair around her finger and bit her lip, not sure how to bring the subject up. 

“Is something wrong?” Marilla asked, sounding concerned.

“No. Well yes. But no.”

“Well, spit it out then.”

“What exactly does it mean to be married to someone?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I mean, what is expected of a married couple?” Anne rephrased and stared at Marilla intently.

Marilla fixed her position and looked troubled, and when she spoke her voice had an uncertain tone to it. “Well, first of all I suppose they move into their own house or stay at the man’s family’s house, most families start their own business that will help them survive, and then there’s of course reproduction–“

“Reproduction?” Anne repeated in a shaky voice. 

“Yes, reproduction is when you–“

“I know what it means. I was just wondering…in order to have children, do you, do you need to kiss?” she asked in the weakest voice she had ever heard herself speak.

Marilla blinked and looked both confused and tense. She faked a cough into her fist before she replied: “Well, it is part of the process, but not a significant one.”

Anne inhaled sharply and she fixed her gaze onto the floor. Her entire body was trembling as she tried to hold in her emotions, but she already knew she couldn’t contain herself for long.

“Oh no,” she whispered just loud enough for Marilla to hear her.

“What is it?” she asked hesitantly, not sure if she wanted to be asked another uncomfortable question.

“All my dreams and plans are ruined,” Anne said weakly, her voice shaky again.

“For Heaven’s sake, what are you talking about?” Marilla snapped rather impatiently now.

Anne looked up at Marilla and let it all out, unable to hold it in anymore: “I’ve been dreaming of having the most romantic first kiss, I have painted a perfect picture of it in my mind and I always wanted it to happen with someone I love! What if I haven’t fallen in love with him when I have to kiss him?! What if he proposes to me tomorrow, or, or, or next week and then I certainly won’t have enough time to learn to love him! My first kiss is the one thing I have wanted to do right in my life and now I won’t succeed even in that, even though I alone should possess the control over when and with whom it happens!”

Marilla stared at Anne with a shocked expression. Anne had stood up from her chair and was now standing directly in front of Marilla with plead in her eyes as though Marilla could somehow fix everything for her with a flick of a magic wand.

“My word!” Marilla finally said. “If this matters to you so much, why won’t you talk to Gilbert about it? I am sure he is a gentleman and will wait for when you think the right moment is.”

“But that’s the thing! What if the right moment never comes? What if I never fall in love with Gilbert Blythe?” she cried out and dropped to her knees, deepening the shocked expression on Marilla’s face even more. “And I can’t tell him about it, I don’t want him to know I am thinking so far ahead of our future, words don’t go far enough to describe how embarrassing that would be! I know it is a very silly thing to be upset about, but my dream is so important to me, it was one of the few things that kept me positive in that orphanage. Oh, what must I do, Marilla?”

She had placed her hands on Marilla’s knees during her rambling. The unshed tears blurred her vision so she hadn’t the slightest clue how Marilla was reacting to it. 

“There, there,” she said in a soothing voice and placed her hand on Anne’s. “Do you at least like Gilbert?”

“Yes, I think so,” Anne replied with a sniff. “He is very nice, doesn’t seem to take anything seriously – which can be very annoying sometimes to tell you the truth – but he doesn’t think I am crazy because of my half-thought ideas, but I don’t think I like him enough to want to love him. He’s not exactly my idea for a perfect suitor.”

There was a long pause between them during which they collected their thoughts and Anne wiped her eyes and tried to calm herself down. She did realise she was being overly dramatic about it, but she couldn’t help herself – the pressure her situation put her in was enough to send anybody on the edge of their nerves. She felt childish for surrounding the image of Gilbert in her mind with bitter and angry thoughts when she very well knew that man played no part in getting himself into this courtship. But she found it very unlikely she was going to fall in love with him; they had not had a proper conversation with no strange distractions, like, ever. Their rare conversations at school were just them arguing because Gilbert used to be an expert at getting on Anne’s nerves. And they used to be rivals. Nobody fell in love with their rival, there had to be some unwritten law about it.

Marilla sighed heavily. “Well, one thing is for certain; nothing is going to happen until you turn 18, which is still a few days away, so you needn’t worry about that just yet. I am sure Gilbert wants to get to know you better before he takes that big step. After all, you both are in the same situation and he must also be going through similar thoughts as you.”

Anne looked up to see her smile fondly at her, and her lips also curled up slightly.

Marilla continued: “Actually, I may know just the remedy for this. I heard from Mrs. Barry that Josephine Barry is planning to host a masquerade in four weeks’ time. Perhaps you could visit Diana and ask for more details. I’m sure Josephine Barry will be more than happy to have you there.”

It was like Marilla had indeed had a magic wand in her pocket because her words caused Anne to forget her gloomy thoughts and she stood up in the speed of light. She stared at Marilla, eyes wide with excitement.

“Oh, Marilla, that sounds thrilling! And I would get to see one of my most treasured kindred spirits again! This is wonderful! If I get an invite, can I please go?”

Marilla simply nodded, amused by the sudden change in Anne’s mood. She let out an excited giggle and after saying ‘thank you’ to Marilla at least five times, she left the parlour, ran to the hallway and grabbed the hat that had come with the dark-green dress she was wearing and rushed outside.

Her very first masquerade! She wouldn’t miss it for the world.


	6. Anne's 18th Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I've been preoccupied with the cancellation of AWAE and I've been spamming on Twitter nonstop. I also moved into my new apartment and preparing for that took all of my spare time!
> 
> Here's the brand new chapter, I hope you enjoy! :)

Never before had Charlottetown sounded so inviting in Anne’s ears. It was Saturday, she sat on the train with her dear Matthew, and she was finally 18. She was going to see Cole and Aunt Jo on her birthday, and she couldn’t have wished for a better way to spend it. Albeit this age brought her some unsettling responsibilities that she didn’t want to think about, she had decided that absolutely nothing was going to ruin her special day. Birthdays were such rare treasures as one only had a handful of them in their lifetime, and Anne had every intention to make the most out of her first day of being an adult.

“So, what are your plans for today?” Matthew asked fondly although he very well knew this already.

Anne tore her eyes off the train window and beamed at him. “To meet Aunt Jo and Cole and to get every last piece of information about the masquerade. I also need to have my outfit approved by Aunt Jo. Of course I don’t have the dress yet, but it is very much alive in my head, so right after I come back from seeing my dear friends, I will run straight to a dressmaker and ask them to start working on it. I hope four weeks is just enough to make it. I suppose I will have to draw it on a piece of paper – no, I will ask Cole to do it! I also have ever so many questions to ask him as I haven’t seen him since the last time I visited Charlottetown, and that feels like it was a hundred years ago! It’s such a shame to be separated from your kindred spirits, don’t you think?”

“I, well, uh, suppose so,” Matthew stuttered, but his eyes didn’t lose any of that fondness. He had a quick glance outside and reached for his hat that was on the seat next to him. “We’re nearly there, you’d better get ready so we won’t be stuck in the mass of people getting off the train at the same time.”

Anne didn’t need to be told twice. By the time Matthew had the hat on his head, she was already up and eyeing the aisle excitedly, waiting for the moment that the train would stop and she could rush past everyone. 

When they were outside, they were instantly greeted by Cole who had insisted on taking the journey from the station to Barry’s with Anne. While Cole and Anne were hugging and laughing heartedly into each other’s shoulders, Matthew waved his hand at them and said he would see Anne again in a few hours’ time, but he wasn’t entirely sure she had heard him, for her attention span wasn’t the sharpest when she was so excited about something.

“Aunt Jo, you must tell me everything about the masquerade! I am bursting with curiosity!” 

Josephine Barry was sitting at the end of a huge dining table while sipping some tea, and Anne was standing a couple feet from her, leaning against the table and boring her eyes into the older lady’s like they carried all the answers she was so desperately trying to get. 

Josephine looked troubled. “I must confess I do not know what to tell you, there is nothing special about it, it will be just like any other masquerade–“

“But I have never been to one! I don’t know how they work!” Anne interrupted, leaning slightly closer towards Josephine.

“Well, it is just a ball where everyone is wearing their best attire and they have a mask that is used to hide their identity and be able to express their opinions and feelings without being judged by it as they are not considered their own thoughts, but the character’s. Then there’s dancing and music of course, and the guests have the chance to converse with each other. As long as you’re having fun, the night is a success.”

Anne took in Aunt Jo’s words as she slowly sat down on the chair that was right next to her. “So in a masquerade, everyone can be whoever they want, even if that character is something they could never be in real life? So you lose your identity for the night?”

“Precisely,” she replied with a smile. 

Cole chuckled somewhere near them, but Anne only had eyes for Aunt Jo.

“The way Anne is looking at you, I wouldn’t be surprised if she proposed to you,” he joked.

She turned her head and looked for him in the room. He was standing at the end of the big table, wearing the biggest grin Anne had seen on him. “But this is so exciting, Cole! I’ve been dreaming about this for years! The thought of becoming someone else for a whole night gives me such a thrill! And the dresses people get to wear…oh right, my dear Josephine, I was thinking about going with a Victorian-style dress, they look so dramatic and important. I really want it to be pink, but I could never ever wear that colour, not even in my dreams because it doesn’t suit me, but I guess emerald green will do. And I really want the end of the sleeves to have two layers! Are there any rules to what one should and should not wear?”

Aunt Jo laughed. “My child, you may wear whatever your heart desires. That’s what the night is for.”

Anne let out a squeak in excitement and she had to resist the urge to hug Aunt Jo. All her dreams were about to come true, and it was all thanks to the older woman sitting in front of her; if she wasn’t holding that cup of tea, Anne might just have squeezed her into a warm embrace accompanied by a few chants of thank you’s. 

Anne took Josephine’s hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze and smiled down at her to display her gratitude. She then turned to look at Cole whose expression had not changed. He had agreed to helping her create a model of the dress on their way to the Barry house, and Anne was delighted to find out how excited he seemed about it; at first Cole had been reluctant as he hadn’t picked up a pencil after the accident at the Christmas panto preparations, but she had managed to convince him to at least give it a try. 

Just as they were about to exit the massive room, a thought occurred to Aunt Jo: “I heard you’re taking a big step in your life, Anne. I would love to meet him at the masquerade.”

It hadn’t been part of Anne’s plan to bring Gilbert with her – in fact, she and Diana had made a promise they would have fun together – but how could she deny Aunt Jo’s wish when she was always so generous to her?”

Anne turned to look at her old kindred spirit and smiled weakly. “Of course.”

It had been a glorious birthday. The dressmaker had been certain that she could make the dress of Anne’s dreams by the time of the masquerade, and the train ride back to their little town had been ever so delightful as she got to relive every moment of her visit to Aunt Jo’s when she told about her day to Matthew. He listened with deep interest although he didn’t add many comments. Anne skilfully forgot to mention the part where she had promised Aunt Jo she and Gilbert would attend the party as a…couple. The mention of that man was enough to bring down the atmosphere around them, for they both found the subject uncomfortable; it made Anne nervous and Matthew was at loss for words (not that he ever had many of them anyway).

When they arrived at Green Gables, the last person Anne had expected to see was Gilbert Blythe. Yet there he sat on the stairs to the front door, waiting for her. Perhaps she should’ve seen it coming since it was her birthday after all, but that didn’t make her feel any better about it – this was the first time she saw him after she had fully grasped the idea of what her future held for her, and she was fearing to find out how she was going to act around him now.

“Good evening, Mr. Cuthbert,” Gilbert greeted Matthew happily and with a smile. He then turned to look at Anne. “Good evening, Anne. And happy birthday.”

“Good evening, Gilbert. And thank you,” Anne replied and tried her best to act proper. She was sure Matthew didn’t really care about how she behaved, but she didn’t want him to realise she and Gilbert were going in the opposite direction when it came to the courting rules.

“Would you mind having a short evening stroll with me?” he asked her.

“That sounds–“ terrifying, dangerous, horrible. “–lovely. Is it fine if I join him?”

Matthew just shrugged. “Do as you wish. I reckon Marilla will be expecting you for dinner in a few hours and she will have prepared something special for your birthday, so best be home by then.”

“I assure you she will be,” Gilbert said confidently, that smile still on his face. 

Anne was surprised to see Gilbert’s formal and proper side. She was convinced he only knew how to be silly and immature which had led him to winking at her twice (no, she still wasn’t over it).

The longer they walked, the more positive Anne was about the thought that Gilbert would seize his first opportunity to propose to her and he would do it tonight. He didn’t seem anxious, but why should he? It wasn’t like she could say anything but yes – how prepared she felt meant nothing. 

She was trying to conceal her nerves by laughing a lot and making strange noises that just sort of erupted from within her. Gilbert was being his cheerful self, making it seem like this was a very ordinary evening stroll and there was absolutely nothing weird about it. 

“So, how was your birthday?” he asked casually. 

They were walking in the forest next to the Avonlea school. Thanks to the mid-Spring, it wasn’t so terribly dark in the evenings and it was easy to see where they were going.

“Exhilarating. I was with Cole and Josephine Barry the entire day, and I went to a dressmaker to order a new dress.”

“Something important coming up then, huh?”

“Yes,” Anne replied shortly and didn’t elaborate. It wouldn’t hurt if Gilbert didn’t know about his part of the invitation just yet. Then a horrifying thought came to her mind and she rushed to add: “It’s not white though.”

Gilbert furrowed. “I, uh, alright?”

“Just so you won’t think I am thinking so far ahead. I am not.”

“I wasn’t really thinking into it,” he said in an awkward and confused tone.

“Oh,” she said just as awkwardly. “Great.”

Anne looked around and hoped the chill breeze would make the redness of her cheeks disappear faster. As she took in her surroundings, she realised where they were and an idea dawned upon her.

“There’s something I’d like to show you,” she said, relieved to have found a change of subject.

With Anne in the lead, they walked through the forest. The memories of old times flashed through her mind. On one hand, it felt like everything had happened a long time ago, but on the other, it felt as though no time had passed since she, Diana, Jane and Ruby traced this very same route towards their secret hiding place. Reminiscing made Anne feel a bit sad because she would never have those moments back; Ruby was studying at Queens, and both Anne and Diana would wait until the next Autumn to go. Diana’s parents hadn’t let her go at first, and when they did it was too late, and since Diana was Anne’s dearest and greatest friend she didn’t want to leave her behind, so they both took a gap year. They were separated from the rest of their girl friends, but that didn’t matter as long as they had each other.

Their destination was in front of them. “Welcome to the ruins of the Storybook Club,” she said rather ceremonially and spread her hands to the sides.

“What is this place?” Gilbert asked in deep interest, glancing down as he stepped on the pieces of wood. When he looked up, he noticed the sign and read it out loud: “Story Club: 1896 to 1898. We Rest in Truth. What happened?”

“That,” she began and took a big step forward to avoid stepping on the planks, her back turned on Gilbert. “Is a very tragical story. Some of us girls were so invested in this club, and for every meeting we wrote a new story to read out loud. To me the meetings were like a cloud of rain in the desert; highly anticipated but absolutely worth the wait once it was upon me. I do love storytelling, and so did the girls and we all had such different ways of interpreting the given theme. Diana always killed her characters, Jane was always a bit too...formal and she never let romance blossom, and Ruby was the exact opposite of that. Then, one fateful night, the club was just…gone. It was one of the saddest days in my life. Can you imagine having a close friend you knew would always bring you comfort, but then one day as you go to meet them you will find them gone, turned to ashes and having left this world in an unjust manner? I think a part of my spirit broke that day – writing hasn’t felt quite the same ever since.”

When she turned to look at Gilbert, he looked like he understood, or tried to understand, the grief the destruction of the Storybook Club had caused her. For a moment they just looked each other in the eyes and didn’t say anything, there was something in the air that felt so fragile it would be instantly ruined by the wrong choice of words, and even with her extensive vocabulary, Anne found it difficult to find the right words to say next. 

“Thank you. For showing me this place. I can only imagine how beautiful it looked in its full glory,” Gilbert said, his voice on the verge of being a mere whisper. He offered a weak smile and Anne automatically returned it.

“It wasn’t embellished by jewellery or marble, but it was beautiful for what it meant to us,” she replied in a sort of dreamy voice; her thoughts had once again travelled to the fond memories she had of the place.

Her trip down memory lane was cut short, however, as reality pulled her back to the surface. She realised Gilbert still hadn’t proposed to her. She mentally forbid herself from thinking about her happy memories as she didn’t want to stain them with the unpleasant ‘you were thinking about this when Gilbert proposed to you’ fact. 

If he hadn’t popped the question yet, did that mean he was hesitating? Maybe he thought this wasn’t the right time to do it? It clearly wasn’t, but now that Anne thought about it, she did realise that the quicker they were into it, the quicker they were out. She would no longer have to bite her fingernails in anticipation, and the towns’ people wouldn’t have to try to be subtle about getting a quick look at her ring finger to see whether it had already happened. She had already received such looks in her direction today, and she was sure they would only become more frequent with time.

“If you’re hesitating, just do it,” she said out of nowhere, as if Gilbert had just heard her inner monologue.

“I beg your pardon?” 

“If your intention of taking me out on an evening stroll was to propose to me, just do it so it’s done,” she elaborated in a tired voice.

Gilbert blinked perplexed. “It wasn’t in my plans to do that tonight.”

“Really?” Anne said faintly, though relieved.

He shook his head. “This is all just as confusing to me as it is to you. I need time to adjust to the changes, but I’m trying my best to get to know you, so when the time comes, you’re not just someone I went to school with, but someone I know better than that.”

“I–“ she began but her voice failed her. “I thought you–“

“That I would use the first opportunity to propose to you and completely ignore the possibility that you’re not ready for it?”

“No! I mean, yes, but only to parts of it! You just seem so, so…bold and daring and like you have your entire life figured out, so I thought you wanted the marriage out of the way as soon as possible,” Anne answered, not sure whether her honesty would cause an outrage. 

Gilbert didn’t say anything for a short while and the silence made Anne nervous to the core. Had she upset him so deeply he couldn’t find words strong enough to scold her? 

“It’s not something I treat lightly. Marriage that is. It’s not something I just want to get out of the way, and I want to make it as meaningful as possible. I am only acting the way I do because I find it easy to be like myself around you. It has always been like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Anne said sincerely, head hanging low. “I promise to be less judgmental and assuming from now on.”

“Apology accepted,” he said and smiled shortly. “It’s great we’re on the same page now.”

Anne nodded and hummed in agreement. She was ashamed of herself for only thinking about herself and instantly thinking that Gilbert didn’t feel the same hesitation as she did just because he knew to be prepared to be thrown into an arranged courtship. 

The fact that Gilbert could be himself around her made her feel strange warmth within her. She hoped this conversation didn’t affect that, because Anne would’ve despised herself if it did. Also the fact that there still was plenty of time for her to get used to the situation was relieving. She just needed to truly start preparing herself for what was to come.


	7. The Art of Being a Wife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be split into two chapters but I thought it's better this way so I can move on with this plot a bit faster :)  
I hope you like this chapter! (the next one should be a very lovely one in terms of Shirbert huhuhu)

There was one thing Anne had always known for certain; she would make a terrible wife. Or at least that was what everyone always kept on telling her back in her orphanage days. She was lazy, clumsy, a freak, too wordy, too _Anne_ for any man to love her. Although she had learned to be better at a thing or two since then, there was no doubt in her mind that she would, in fact, be miserable at being a wife. 

When she promised herself that she would improve her qualities and become a better wife material, she thought that everyone would agree that there was a lot of work to do; she had never been the ideal definition of a well-mannered girl that could be displayed in an exhibition for people to be inspired by her and follow her example. That honour belonged to girls like Josie Pye and Diana Barry. 

The morning after her birthday, she quickly got up from her bed, got dressed and ran down the many stairs to the parlour where she knew Marilla always spent her mornings after breakfast. Once she was downstairs and close enough to the parlour to be heard by Marilla, she announced, loud and clear:

“I want to learn to be a better wife!”

Marilla wasn’t alone in the parlour, that she realised the moment she actually did step into the room. There was not only Marilla, but also Rachel, sitting in the parlour, enjoying their morning coffee, both their cups hanging in mid-air and eyes fixed on Anne by the door. 

For a moment they just stared at each other dumbfounded. The silence was almost comical, though this was yet another situation Anne found nothing funny about.

Rachel was the first one to recollect herself. She put down her cup as she said with a chuckle: “Well, well, what did I just tell you, Marilla? One is never safe from being surprised until they’re dead!”

Marilla shot a quick glance at Rachel who was sitting opposite to her, then turned her head back to Anne who was still standing by the door, her attention completely focused on Rachel. 

“Did, did Gilbert propose to you after all?” Marilla asked in utter confusion, her eyebrows knitted together. “You were so happy at dinner last night I assumed he couldn’t have done that.”

“No, he didn’t,” Anne replied weakly. She left the door frame and walked to Marilla and Rachel, sitting down next to the former. 

Anne had been taken aback by Rachel’s presence, but now as she thought about it more, she realised that the woman was exactly what she needed right now, so she took a deep breath and continued.

“Neither of us is ready for marriage. For now. But that doesn’t mean it’s never coming for us, and I don’t know anything about being a wife, I am probably horrible at it. No, let me correct myself, I most certainly am horrible at it. I think the entire art of being a wife–“

“The art of being a wife?” Marilla interrupted with a high-pitched voice.

“Precisely. I think that’s why I am so nervous. I do love an adventure, but not one this grand and life-changing. When the time comes, I don’t want to dive head first into unknown waters, I need to know what I need to know so I won’t feel so unprepared.”

“Being a wife is hardly an art, my child,” Rachel said with a smile.

“It could be. It also sounds much more romantical and important that way and it makes me want to be one,” Anne insisted, busying her hands with the skirt of her dress. “Will you help me, Rachel?”

“Me?” 

“Yes, you. You are a wife.”

Rachel let out a laugh. “Being a wife the way I am does not need any training, my child. Once you are one, you will know what to do. Unless you want to be like the Barrys, I suggest you let time mature your mind, that’s the best way to go about it.”

Anne stared at Rachel with a puzzled expression. “So you were ready to give me a very profound lecture on how to handle the courting stage of our…relationship in a proper manner, but you have nothing to offer to me now when I am truly asking for your help?”

Rachel gave her a displeased look before she said in a rather sharp tone: “The courting rules are only for your public image. You need to know them so you will not ruin your reputation. Once you’re married, not a single soul will care about what you do, mark my words.”

Anne allowed herself a moment to think. Did she really have to go to Mrs. Barry to get some tips? She wasn’t even entirely sure learning more about how to be a respectable wife would calm her nerves – it really just was a theory she had. Previously she always thought that if two people were to be partners for life, they also had to share the workload together, so if she were to take lessons from Mrs. Barry, she would be throwing that thought straight into the Lake of Shining Waters. And what Marilla said was true; she had been in high spirits after the evening stroll with Gilbert, and that had been all thanks to the fact she was finally on the same page with him. In the past it had felt like she was screaming in the pages of a horror story book meanwhile Gilbert had immensely enjoyed himself in the caress of a good comedy book. Something had changed between the two of them last night, and back then their situation didn’t sound as bad as it did now when she had to battle with her thoughts alone. Perhaps she could get the reassurance she needed from Gilbert himself? 

“If Gilbert is anything like his father,” Marilla began unsurely, breaking the silence that had lingered on for a minute or two, “he will not care about how well you handle your responsibilities. The Blythes are a honourable family, that is sure and certain.”

“You loved each other, Gilbert and I don’t, that makes all the difference. A man in love surely forgives a lot of things, but it is so much easier to be cross with somebody you don’t have deep feelings for.”

Rachel had calmed down and she was back to being amused by this conversation. “You never know what time brings. If this is so important to you, I suppose I can give you a lesson or two, that won’t hurt anybody. As a thank-you, you can send that farm boy over to have a look at our cart, he looks like he can hold a hammer.”

Anne’s features lightened up. “But I can do it! There’s no need to get Jerry into this, he is ever so busy with his chores here at Green Gables. I’ve had plenty of experience with repairing broken things, I’m sure I can fix it.”

“You will absolutely not do that!” Marilla replied harshly, looking like the mere fact that Anne had had such an idea was enough to take a couple years from her life expectancy.

The many years of living under Marilla’s wing had made Anne very familiar with her definite tone and that there was no point in arguing with her once she used it. Anne sighed heavily and retreated to her plan B she had just come up within her mind.

“Fine, I will ask Gilbert to do it. He is the reason I am taking the lessons anyway, so he should pay his contribution to the agony.”

Unsurprisingly neither Marilla nor Rachel had a thing against that, so they remained silent. Why would they – Gilbert was a man after all, which magically gave him the perfect capability of performing such tasks. She heaved yet another heavy sigh and flashed a smile at Rachel sitting opposite to her. 

“When may we begin?” she asked, trying to make herself sound important and like a well-trained lady like Josie Pye was. 

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows in thought. “Tomorrow after church. Bring that Blythe boy with you. I think he ought to be asked beforehand so it won’t be a total surprise to him tomorrow.”

“That is something I am definitely capable of doing,” Anne said with an air of determination and stood up. “I have another matter I need to discuss with him as I forgot to tell him about his invitation to the masquerade last night. I shall get myself and Belle ready so we can leave as soon as possible.”

Marilla looked up at Anne, not recognising her girl’s formality at all. Unable to say anything, she just nodded at her and watched Anne’s back as she left the parlour.

Once she was out of their sight, a smile spread across her face and she couldn’t supress it. The thought of seeing Gilbert three days in a row sent a surge of excitement through her body. She didn’t understand the reason for it but she didn’t let that bother her for now – there were more important matters on her mind.

The knock on the Blythes’ door wasn’t as confident as she had hoped. She hadn’t seen the house since that evening that she very much didn’t want to think about, and being around it made her feel uneasy.

The door opened and Anne found herself face-to-face with a maiden who was wearing a reserved smile; the type that didn’t look cold but didn’t seem inviting either. “Good day to you, Miss,” the maiden greeted, her tone reflecting her smile. “What brings you here?”

“Good day, Miss. I am Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, I am here to see Gilbert, is he home?”

She clearly recognised the name as her features softened in an instant and her smile looked more welcoming. “He is. May I ask why you need to see him? I am sorry to intrude, but I’ve been given certain rules I need to follow when letting guests in.”

“Oh, there’s no need to be sorry. I, uh,” Anne began, but suddenly her reasons to see Gilbert sounded absolutely ridiculous in her mind, so she quickly said the first thing her mind could come up with, “I promised to help him study for his exams. He wants to be top of the class as usual.”

That was a reason good enough for the maiden and she nodded in approval and got out of the doorway so Anne could enter the house. 

The house was huge. Of course this shouldn’t have been a surprise to her as she lived in a house just equally huge, and she had had her own tour around its surroundings, but yet she couldn’t help but be surprised by the grandness of all. Everything looked so expensive and not a single furniture was misplaced. It was no wonder Gilbert wanted to come back home every day after he was done with classes – anybody preferred this over the boarding houses that accommodated university students.

Anne turned to look at the maiden. “Um, where is Gilbert’s room?”

She did know it was upstairs and which end of the house it was located, but for the sake of her own ego, she pretended she didn’t have the faintest idea.

“Upstairs, third door to the left,” the maiden replied without missing a beat.

Anne muttered her thanks and headed upstairs. She felt the sweat in her palms, and her nerves made their presence very loud and clear. Why was it always so nerve-racking to do something that was linked to Gilbert Blythe? She had been talking to him many times and he was a very nice company. He was also very laid-back, and it seemed as though nothing would upset him. The worst that could happen was he said no, and was that really something to be so nervous over?

Yet her emotions seemed to consume her more and more as she approached the third door to the left. It was closed. She knocked and waited. There was a creaking noise accompanied by some heavy steps that sounded louder and louder by the second.

Gilbert opened the door and surprise was written all over his face when he realised who was standing behind it. His mouth parted slightly, and his eyes studied every inch of Anne’s face before he spoke; “Anne? What are you doing here?”

“I told the lovely lady downstairs I promised to help you study for your exams, so here I am,” she announced. She mentally patted herself on her shoulder for sounding way more confident than she felt.

Gilbert nodded very, very slowly and let Anne enter his room. “So what is the real reason why you’re here?” he asked once the door was shut behind him.

Anne looked around to allow herself a few more seconds before she needed to answer. Gilbert’s room was also big. It was white, just like Anne’s, and the windows let in a lot of light. Her eyes stopped on the window she broke for a fraction of a second and was relieved to find out it was already fixed. 

“You and I were invited to a masquerade,” she finally said and she turned around to face him. “By Josephine Barry. Do you know her?”

“Only by name,” Gilbert replied, his eyebrows furrowed together. He then replaced his frown with a smile and continued; “A masquerade? You must know her well then if she invited us.”

Anne decided to ignore the butterflies the word ‘us’ awakened in her stomach. “She’s one of my dearest kindred spirits. She’s a wonderful soul, and it is so rare to meet a person as interesting as her. Cole Mackenzie lives with her. Will you please accept the invitation? She especially wanted to meet you.”

Gilbert chuckled and Anne couldn’t figure out why. “When is it?”

“About three weeks from now. It will be thrilling, you can’t miss out on it.”

His grin grew bigger and he took one unconscious step towards her. “My, my, I didn’t think I’d see a day when Anne Shirley-Cuthbert _wants_ me to join her so eagerly.”

Anne felt panic rise within her. “Only because Josephine Barry insisted I’d take you with me!” she rushed to say.

The grin on his face fell and he looked away from her. There was a pressing silence between them and neither of them knew what to say or do to take the awkward tension away. 

“Sorry,” Anne said finally. “It would mean a lot if you could join me.”

Gilbert turned to look at her. He blew air out of his nostrils and a smile was back on his face. “Of course I will.”

Anne let out the breath she had been holding and her lips curled up a little, too. She didn’t feel nervous anymore. “I have ordered a dress that makes me look like Princess Cordelia. She used to be part of my silly childhood fantasies and I thought that dressing up as her would pay a wonderful tribute to her memory. Maybe you could dress up like a prince so we can match.”

“Sounds intriguing.”

“Doesn’t it? Oh, and by the way, there’s one more thing I came here to tell you.”

“Which is?” he asked, his eyebrows raised up in interest.

Once again the entire thought sounded ridiculous to her, and saying it out loud felt like she was going to embarrass herself.

She felt hot on the cheeks. “I, uh, it honestly will sound ridiculous to you I assume, but starting from tomorrow, Rachel is going to give me some important lessons related to my…future, but in order for her to do that she wants her cart fixed, and I already sort of promised that you would do it?” she said awkwardly, not waiting to see or hear Gilbert’s reaction before she rushed to add; “I did offer to do it myself, but Marilla wouldn’t let me, and Rachel suggested I’d take Jerry with me at first but I don’t want him to have anything to do with this, and you were the only option left. I hope you know how to hold a hammer, that seemed to be very important to Rachel.”

“I do know how to hold one,” he confirmed. “What are these lessons about, if I may ask?”

“Rachel will teach me the art of being a wife.”

He looked at her curiously. “Do you think that is necessary?”

“I don’t know a thing about being one, so the least I can do is to learn how to be good at it.”

“Well, I hope you’re only doing this on your own accord.”

“I am. I think it will calm my nerves to be a bit more prepared for the future.”

“Are you nervous?”

“All the time. Not so much after last night, but sometimes the depths of despair just swallow me right in.”

Gilbert cast her a sympathetic look. “Is there, is there anything I can do to help you?”

“It would be extraordinary if you could join me tomorrow to the Lyndes’.”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” he said and rubbed his neck. 

Anne felt a rush of relief was over her and she beamed at him gratefully. “Thank you so much, Gilbert!”

Without giving him any warning, she flung her arms around him and gave him a quick hug. Gilbert didn’t have time to react or even realise what was happening before she broke the contact and took away a couple steps so she could face him again.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” she asked. 

Gilbert was seemingly at a loss for words, as he kept opening and closing his mouth, and eventually he settled for a simple nod.

Anne let her glance trail on him for a couple more seconds before she headed back to the door. 

“I will leave you to your studies, so there’s no need to escort me downstairs,” she said, looked at Gilbert one more time and closed the door behind her

She leant against the wall for a moment and just thought. A content smile spread across her lips as she realised how her future sounded less threatening to her every time she spent time with Gilbert. She hoped it would keep on going that way, as she was beginning to be tired of living in constant fear of what her life might look like in a few months’ time.

Thank Heavens it was Gilbert and not someone else she was destined to share a life with.


	8. Anne Is Confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait once again skskskskkkdfj between this and the previous chapter a lot happened in my life, the biggest turn of event being that i went from unemployed to employed and started working a full-time job. getting familiar with my new job and the working environment made me exhausted to the core so i couldn't really write often. 
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy this new chapter! <3

John Blythe was kind enough to offer them a cart ride to the Lyndes’ after the Sunday church. The Blythes’ cart was much fancier than what Marilla and Matthew had – it was actually a carriage, something very few owned in Avonlea. It was, however, too small for more than three adults, and Marilla and Matthew’s cart was too small for them all to travel on it, so Rachel and Thomas had accompanied the Cuthberts, giving Anne and Gilbert one more peaceful moment without Rachel’s judging eyes.

The ride had a cheerful atmosphere and both Anne and Gilbert forgot that his father was right within earshot, so their informal way of conversing with one another couldn’t have gone unnoticed by him. Either he didn’t care or was so utterly ashamed of them he hadn’t found the right words, for he remained silent the entire journey, focusing on the road ahead of them (it had been raining in the night so everything was covered in mud [thankfully Anne didn’t have to walk and get her best Sunday shoes dirty again]) while the two sat behind him, casually making fun of what was coming for Anne. 

“Are you entirely sure you want to be lectured by Mrs. Lynde?” Gilbert asked for what felt like the tenth time. He was suspiciously eyeing the cart in front of them, on which Rachel was enthusiastically telling Marilla about something she was only half-listening to.

Anne squinted her eyes to make it seem she was examining him very carefully, after which she replied with a very thoughtful tone: “Gilbert Blythe, if I didn’t know you any better, I would have the courage to assume you are nervous for me!”

“I am not.”

“Is it the broken cart then? Did you lie to me about your skills?” she asked aghast, though there was a playful tone to her voice as she did so. For extra dramatic effect, she put her hand over her heart.

The corners of his mouth curled up, revealing his front teeth. “I am only concerned for your well-being, Miss, given the fact that Mrs. Lynde does not have the most delicate way to bring up her opinion and views, and you are a very fragile soul and what you’re going to hear from her is not going to please you.”

Anne waved her hand dismissively. “It was I who requested this in the first place, Rachel ignored my wish in the beginning; she didn’t think I needed any teaching at all! I don’t believe she really meant it though, she does seem to think there are always ways to improve a person. But that isn’t the most pressing reason why I want to give the lessons a go – as I said, I want to see if it does my nerves any good. If it doesn’t, I will not have to attend another time.”

“And are you sure she will let you go once she becomes fond of the idea of being your official instructor?”

“Positive. She can’t force me into coming, can she?”

Gilbert was silent for a moment. “If I had the courage to assume that you’re nervous right now, would I be correct?”

Anne thought about it. She had had a discomforting feeling in the pit of her stomach in the morning, but at the church things did not seem as bad. Now her current self would be laughing at her morning self, had she had the opportunity to do so. 

“You would not,” she replied honestly with a proud smile. “I hope it will remain this way.”

“So do I.”

When they arrived at the Lyndes’, Anne did not wait for their carriage to stop until she jumped out of it. Gilbert waited until they came to a halt, after which he landed on the other side. She glanced at the tool kit that had been by her feet all journey and grabbed it to be helpful. 

“My child, why are you carrying that?” Rachel’s voice sounded once Anne appeared from behind the carriage.

“Well, there was no reason for Gilbert to walk to the other side to get it when I was already standing there, was there? Please don’t look at me like that, Rachel, I am not going to touch your precious cart.”

Rachel didn’t seem to believe her, so with a deep sigh she reached out her arm to give the tool kit to Gilbert. He walked up to her and kept his eyes on her with a playful gleam to them, smirking. Anne felt her stomach turn upside down seeing that look on his face. Her mind couldn’t decide whether Gilbert was going to do something or whether he was just being…Gilbert and having fun. Rachel was standing a small distance from them, so she hoped he wasn’t planning to do something improper when the only reason Anne was here was for her to learn how to be anything but. 

His smirk remained unchanged as he reached for the kit, and Anne found herself unable to stop staring him into the eyes, so she didn’t really pay attention to when Gilbert had a proper hold of the tools. She released her grip way too early, causing the box to fall to the ground and spreading its contents all around them.

“Oh my goodness!” she shrieked and looked down at the mess she had just made. 

Anne turned to look at Rachel whose face left no doubt that she didn’t think their lesson was off to a very good start. Anne smiled at her in a manner she hoped would look apologetic as she crouched down to place the tools back into the kit. 

“Allow me,” Gilbert said and went for the tools that had rolled a bit farther away from them. 

“This is not how I was planning this to go,” Anne muttered sorrowfully to herself, just loud enough for Gilbert to hear her.

He crouched down opposite to her and smiled sheepishly, not sure what to say to lift her spirits up. They both tried to grab the same screw and their hands brushed each other which made Anne look up from the ground. He was so unbelievably close, and when he too tore his eyes off the screw and looked at her, she took a sharp intake of breath and her heart skipped a couple beats. His eyes were grey and no matter what she told her mind to do, she just couldn’t stop staring at them. Why couldn’t she stop?

Gilbert got up slowly, and Anne mimicked his movements. Her stomach was filled with butterflies once again.

“Anne,” Rachel said in a very sharp tone. “Come with me, Gilbert can handle the rest of that mess just fine. Thomas can show him what he needs to do. Come on now, do not keep me waiting!”

Anne was sent back on earth and slight panic was bubbling up inside her, so without saying another word to Gilbert, she rushed to Rachel, millions of questions bursting into her mind, unable to answer any of them.

“ANNE!”

Anne startled and turned to look at Rachel wide-eyed.

“Yes, Rachel?”

“Finally! I have no idea how long I’ve been trying to get your attention and for how long I was speaking to the void.”

“Oh, I am so deeply sorry, I promise I will be all ears from this moment onwards,” Anne assured.

“You’d better be, daydreaming about Gilbert like that will do no good to you.”

“What?” she blurted out. “I wasn’t daydreaming about him!”

Truly. She had just happened to find a window to look out of. It wasn’t her fault she could see Gilbert from it, and when her stare was unfocused, it had looked like she was looking at him. Her thoughts had built a wall around her mind that didn’t let Rachel’s words seep into her consciousness. 

Rachel did not seem to believe her for a second. “It seems to me you’re not fully committed to these lessons you so desperately wanted from me.”

“I am,” Anne protested, though she didn’t sound very convincing in her own ears. 

It had seemed like a good idea, but now that she was more familiar with what the life of a wife in a wealthy family was like, she was quite certain she would’ve been happier without this information. Since the maids would do everything in the house from cooking to cleaning to tending the garden, all that was left for Anne to do was embroidery as a past-time activity and raising her future children. 

She despised embroidery with such passion. And she didn’t believe in raising children very strictly – that made them lose their imagination. She believed children were to choose their own path in life and that it was just cruel to create that path for them without their consent. Children needed love and freedom. She didn’t believe whipping was a way to scold them – this had been a very heated discussion she had had with Rachel, and the mere memory of it was enough to make her blood boil.

_“The only way to make children respect you is through strict discipline,” Rachel had announced after Anne had shared her opinion on whipping children._

_“That only makes them scared of you, it isn’t respect by any means!” she had said with a tone of anger._

Rachel studied Anne briefly to determine whether she meant what she said and she wanted her to continue the lesson. 

“Is there any mannerism I must follow?” Anne asked, genuinely curious; good manners she did think highly of.

“Well, yes, but I already know you’re going to disagree with it, so I do not think it is wise to share them with you,” Rachel replied tiredly. “For the sake of my own sanity,” she added.

“Please, Rachel, I promise to not argue.”

Rachel looked at her and sighed. “Very well, if you insist. For starters, you must never show any interest in what your husband is doing, as nothing he does is your business.”

“But everything I do is his business?”

“Of course it is.”

Anne stayed true to her words and remained silent. Her expression was blank as she took in that new piece of information she had just received.

“Do not argue,” Rachel warned her.

“But I didn’t say anything,” Anne replied stiffly.

“I could see it on your face.”

“I didn’t promise to not disagree with it. I did promise to not say my thoughts out loud.”

That was one of the most ridiculous rules she had heard so far. How was she expected to agree to be Gilbert’s property while his doings were not supposed to interest her in the slightest? Why didn’t women matter in their society at all? Was this what the future had in store for her? 

Anne heard Gilbert’s laugh outside and she turned her head towards the window in a blur. She saw him talking with Thomas Lynde by the broken cart, both wearing amused expressions, and the turmoil within her loosened up by the second and a smile was spread on her face. In the span of these few weeks she had gotten to know Gilbert better, and she knew he wasn’t like most men in Avonlea. He was kind and treated everyone with respect, and he would never agree with what Rachel had just told her. Despite the many arguments they had back in their youth, Gilbert always had her back when others were giving her a hard time, and he had never seemed like the type to think he was superior to Anne just because he was a man.

She thought back to the conversation they had on their way to the Lyndes’. Gilbert was already aware of these customs and he didn’t seem to want her to hear them. Didn’t that mean he disagreed with them and didn’t want her to follow them? 

“ANNE!”

She spun around in panic. “Oh, no, I’m so sorry, Rachel! I was lost in thought again!”

Rachel shook her head and looked frustrated. The lesson wasn’t going well at all and they both could feel it.

Gilbert’s father hadn’t stayed to wait for them so they had to go back by foot. Anne didn’t want to spend more time around Rachel although they had offered to take them back with their cart that was now, at long last, repaired and ready for use, so Anne had insisted on walking and Gilbert didn’t seem to mind. They just needed to pick the spots with less mud so that their shoes didn’t get all dirty.

As they walked, Anne was going on about how her first lesson had gone, not even bothering to hide her frustration and anger.

“It was horrible! I don’t know what I was thinking! How could something so ancient and so, so pejorative ever help me feel better? If anything, it made things so much worse! It is the 20th century and we still live like we are stuck in the Stone Age! Like, how am I expected to sit still and let someone else toss me around like I am a property to be owned? It breaks my heart that Rachel talked about it like it’s not to be questioned. How will the world ever change if we don’t change the ways of doing things?”

“People fear change, that’s why they don’t want to question the old customs. But what they don’t realise is that while change may be scary, nothing is as harmful as staying stuck.”  
Anne let out a deep sigh. The further they trod from the Lyndes’ house, the smaller her frustration grew. 

“I was also a terrible listener. I kept on getting lost in my thoughts. I tried my hardest to pay attention, but it is difficult once you realise you don’t want to hear what is being said.”

“What were you thinking about?” Gilbert asked curiously.

“Oh, I...I…it was nothing really,” she stuttered. “Just…things.”

Anne couldn’t tell for certain whether he believed her or not, but either way he didn’t press the matter. That was wonderful about Gilbert – he never tried to make Anne speak or elaborate if she didn’t do it herself. With her mind so many unanswered questions that she felt in her mind but hadn’t quite formed into any shape yet, she didn’t feel comfortable to discuss the contents of her mind any further.

She changed the subject. “I don’t think I ever asked how your medical studies are going.”

“I’m loving it, the courses are interesting, and the teachers know what they’re talking about. I learn so many new things every day, and it’s great to have people that share your excitement for medicine around you. It is a very challenging subject, so studying takes up almost all of my free time.”

Strangely enough, Gilbert’s enthusiasm caused Anne’s chest to tighten and the corners of her mouth to curl up. His excitement over his own future contrasted her uncertainty and it was somehow calming to see him not dwell in the depths of despair. 

An idea dawned on her. “Last evening when I told one of the maidens at your house I came in to help you study. I was thinking, I could actually help you with it. I know I am nowhere near as good at medicine as you are, but I think we would make a great team. We’re old rivals after all, that must count for something.”

Gilbert stopped walking and Anne followed his lead. They stood there, only a few feet from each other and Anne waited for his response. His expression was soft and his smile warm.

“I would love that. Thank you, Anne.”

Although it was such a simple thing to reply to, Anne found herself at a loss for words so she remained quiet and smiled instead. Something about Gilbert managed to make her feel happy despite the terrible couple of hours she had just spent under Rachel’s wing. She was grateful she didn’t need to go back there again, and she was sure most of the happiness erupted from the acknowledgment of that fact, and Gilbert’s presence only played a small part in that. 

But she didn’t find any explanation as to why he was making her feel so strange suddenly. The butterflies had never before made their appearance until recently and she wasn’t sure how to read them. It was uncomfortable to not know what it was, yet the emotions themselves didn’t feel unpleasant. It was giving her a lot of inner confusion, but she decided to deal with that later. All she knew was that the more she spent time with Gilbert, the more certain she was about the fact that her life didn’t look as desperate as she had anticipated at first, and that was what mattered to her right in this moment.


	9. Anne Is No Longer Confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so late with this update once again...so sorry about that! 
> 
> stream season 3 of anne with an e on netflix! let's get this show renewed!

The masquerade was in a week, and if excitement were enough to make a person fly, Anne would already be on her way to some faraway planet. The nearer it drew, the harder it was for her to keep the elation at bay, and sometimes she got so hyped up from the mere thought of the masquerade that she let out inhumane noises out of nowhere when it was dead silent in the house, and Marilla was beginning to be a bit tired of getting startled four times a day. Matthew, on the other hand, found Anne’s enthusiasm rather sweet and entertaining.

She took Diana with her to Charlottetown when the day her dress for the masquerade arrived. The dressmaker had made it perfectly clear Anne would have it one week before the big day in case the dress would need some last-minute tailoring at the shop. 

“Oh, Diana, I don’t think there are words big enough for this mission! It feels so grand, like I am about to be crowned as the queen of Scotland!” Anne shared her excitement as they were a minute walk away from the dressmaker’s shop. 

“I’m so happy for you,” Diana said genuinely. “You’ve described the dress to me at least a hundred times by now, but I am sure my imagination doesn’t come even close to what it really looks like. I wish my parents had let me order a new dress, too, it would’ve been great fun to try the dresses on for the first time together.”

“And for a dazzling moment we could’ve imagined us as crown princesses,” Anne said dreamily. 

Her mind’s eyes created the most beautiful castle with garlands of hundreds of different flowers draped around the white stony pillars, her and Diana admiring each other’s new dresses while wearing their tiaras of gold and pearls. She might have been an adult by age, but her mind still often galloped towards the distant lands where everything was simply much more romantical and people still spoke in riddles and rhymes.

When they entered the shop, a small, rusty bell by the door announced their arrival, and not a moment later did the same woman who Anne had shown Cole’s drawing of the dress to appear behind the large piles of wooden boxes that were shrouded in pieces of fabric, thread and buttons. 

“Good afternoon, young ladies,” the woman greeted. “How may I assist you today?”

“Good afternoon, my name is Anne Shirley-Cuthbert and I ordered a dress from you three weeks ago, you said it would be ready today,” Anne replied with a slightly shaky voice. Her excitement was nearly through the roof.

“Ah, yes, as a matter of fact I was just in the back placing it on a mannequin, but since you’re already here I suppose that will be unnecessary for now. Just walk over there,” she pointed at the spacey area that was undoubtedly made to fit on dresses as there were mirrors everywhere, “and I will bring the dress for you.”

It took Anne all her willpower to not run to the fitting area. She didn’t think anybody would’ve minded if she had, but the hem of her dress wasn’t exactly the slimmest and she was afraid she would make a mess of needles and buttons and other sewing supplies if she wasn’t careful with where the hem ended up. 

When the woman showed up with the dress, Anne forgot how to breathe for a moment. She didn’t even need to try it on to know it was everything she had dreamed it would be. With shaky hands, she took the dress from the older lady and gave it a closer look. The strings on the back were already untied, so she only needed to get into it. 

“I can help you if you want,” Diana said from behind her, a smile spread across her lips.

“Thank you,” Anne breathed out. 

Diana helped her get off her own dress (Anne had had to pick one that required a corset, for her masquerade dress needed one), and then into the new, emerald green dress.

When Diana was done tightening all the strings from the back, Anne rushed next to a mirror and just stared. She had owned many dresses in her life, but none of them came close to being this beautiful. It was like she had just entered the pages of her novels from the Victorian times – the laces, the double-layered sleeves, the puffiness, everything was just like she had dreamed it would’ve been.

“Oh, it’s gorgeous,” Anne said in a watery voice. “This truly makes me feel like Princess Cordelia has finally surfaced the earth and is now ready to make her acquaintance with everyone.”

“So you like it?” the woman asked kindly.

Anne turned to look at her with unshed tears in her eyes. “’Like’ is such a plain word to describe how I feel about this dress. I think it’s divine. Thank you, thank you so much for this dress, you’ve just made me so much more excited for the masquerade.”

“I didn’t think that was possible,” Diana laughed.

“Is there really a limit to how thrilled a person can be?” Anne asked her friend while wiping off the tears from her eyes. 

She admired the dress for a while before she reluctantly took it off and placed it in its own, neat box. Before the lid was closed, the older lady gave her the mask to go with the dress. It was all black but the silk details on it gave it sort of a gleam when light was cast onto it. Anne didn’t think she could’ve wished for a more perfect mask, and she needed to fight her tears once again.  
Next weekend couldn’t come sooner in her opinion.

Being around Gilbert wasn’t supposed to be so easy. Or, maybe it was, but it for sure was not supposed to happen so early on. It had been a bit over a month since the day Anne had sat down by the breakfast table and Marilla had broken down the news about her and Gilbert’s arranged marriage. At first she had decided that she would try to make Gilbert’s life as difficult as possible, but she now realised she hadn’t succeeded in this plan. She knew the blame was partly on the fact they both actually enjoyed spending time with each other, and who on earth would like to purposefully turn something pleasant to unpleasant? She had had her fair share of ludicrous ideas, but even she didn’t want to make her own life unnecessarily difficult just because she could. 

That was the beauty of unsaid plans – she could just forget she ever had one and no one would ever know. Anne had shared it with Diana, but being the true kindred spirit that she was she knew not to ask further questions. They both knew Anne wasn’t one to give up on something she had set her mind to, but there had to be a first to everything, didn’t here?

“How is it going with him? Do you get along?” Diana asked as they walked along the platform of the Avonlea train station.

Anne readjusted the large box in her arms. “We do. He isn’t bad at all, and he is ever so understanding about how I feel. I think he feels the same as me, actually – neither of us is in a situation we want to be in but we’re trying to make it work somehow. I do regret being so judgmental towards him in the beginning, but as I always say; I learn from my mistakes. I hope his costume has already arrived, I’ll be going to the Blythes’ tonight to help him study and we could see how well-matched we are going to look at the masquerade.”

“My, my, you’re helping Gilbert Blythe to study?” Diana asked with a raised eyebrow. “Since when have you become so fond of his company that you want to spend all your evenings with him?”

They slowed down their pace because both their rides were already waiting for them; Mr. Barry and Matthew were engaged in a conversation by their carts. Even though Anne was looking forward to telling Matthew all about her day – coming back from one of her adventures, small or grand, always gave her such a thrill because she got to re-live the day in her mind as she told about it to someone – but she didn’t want to part ways with Diana just yet. They wouldn’t see each other until the masquerade, and being separated from a kindred spirit for such a long time would damage anyone’s soul.

“I’m not fond of him,” Anne rushed to say. “And I only want to be helpful. We’re no longer attending the same school so there’s no need for us to remain rivals. And I’m not helping him every evening, only from Monday to Friday because he also has other deeds to see to, and we see each other at every Sunday church so there’s no need to see– I mean, uh, study, because he doesn’t want me to overwork myself, although he is the one doing all the brain work, I’m just asking questions I find interesting and want answers to, and I must admit I’m always so mesmerised by the amount of knowledge he has, he’s so, so passionate about his studies. But there’s nothing romantical about asking questions or receiving answers to them.”

The more Anne spoke, the wider Diana’s smile grew. “To me it sounds like you’re developing a crush on him.”

“What? Oh, god, no, no, absolutely no, never!” Anne shouted, earning a few passer-byers’ attentions. She felt her cheeks grow hot by the second and was thankful they were outdoors so the redness wouldn’t look as dramatic on her pale skin.

“I always thought there was something between you two, but you were too proud and determined to be better than him to see it yourself,” Diana said teasingly. She was clearly enjoying this moment very much, like she had been waiting to say that for a long time. 

“I– it’s not true,” Anne protested in a quiet voice. She didn’t want to draw more attention to herself and they were getting close to Matthew and Mr. Barry, and the last thing she wanted was for Matthew to overhear their conversation. It was humiliating enough as it was.

Diana must’ve realised that, too, as she took advantage of the moment and smiled at Anne without saying another word, after which she took a few longer steps to be next to her father. Anne wished she had had time to assure her friend that whatever she thought there was or had been between her and Gilbert wasn’t true, but she didn’t know if she wanted to do this to convince Diana or herself. 

“How was it in Charlottetown? Did you like your dress?” Matthew asked her once the Barrys departed.

Anne turned to look at Matthew. “The dress is wonderful, I wish I could wear it every day.”

“Who’s to say you cannot wear it every day, then?” he asked with a smile. He took the box off her hands and placed it inside the cart. Anne pushed herself onto it and moved to the other side so Matthew could sit next to her.

“When I imagine myself wear such a display of a dress in Avonlea, I see chaos,” she explained. “It is very different from what everyone else wears, and from my experience different isn’t accepted lightly around here.”

“I, uh, reckon you’re right about that,” he agreed. “Do you want to head straight home?”

“I don’t have time, I promised Gilbert I would help him revise tonight. Could you please take me to the Blythes’?”

Matthew simply nodded and they fell into a conversation about Anne’s day in Charlottetown and her very precise description of the dress.

What did Diana mean by what she said?

That was the only thing filling her mind as she walked to Gilbert’s house on top of the hill. She had asked Matthew to leave her a bit farther from the house, so she had time to recollect her thoughts – they were unsurprisingly crowded today. She had to leave her dress with Matthew as she had realised there was no way she could show it to Gilbert; she realised it was impossible for her to put it on by herself due to the strings on the back, and it would’ve been highly inappropriate to ask for his help. The mere thought made her pale from mortification. 

When she approached the front door, Gilbert swung it open with such force before Anne was on the stairs. A smile tucked at her lips as she realised that he must’ve been waiting for her by a window or something, which meant she wasn’t the only one secretly excited about these study hours of theirs.

“Did you walk all the way here from the train station? I could’ve easily picked you up,” Gilbert said with a slight frown. 

“Oh, no, Matthew brought me here, he just left me farther behind on my request,” she explained with a smile. “Besides, I do love walking, everything is usually so much clearer when you get to ponder them in the fresh air.”

Gilbert scoffed with a smile. “I agree. Please, do come in, I want to hear all about your visit to Charlottetown. I need to know if it lived up to the expectations you had for it yesterday.”

And that really was the nature of their so-called study hours. They had started as such, but the more time they spent together, the more they wanted to know about each other rather than keep their noses stuck in books. Anne did ask him some medicine-related questions every once in a while, but her knowledge of the field wasn’t good enough to pose questions that were challenging for Gilbert.

Anne didn’t stop talking until they were already in Gilbert’s room and she had sat down on an armchair that was a few feet from the desk where Gilbert always studied. He listened to her every word, a smile never leaving his lips.

“I can’t wait for next Saturday, after seeing the dress I don’t think I am capable of thinking about anything else but the masquerade. It’s going to be scrumptious!”

“I don’t think you will make it to the party,” Gilbert said seriously, his smile all gone. “Over-excitement can make you fatally ill.”

Anne blinked and gaped at him. “What? No, it cannot!”

“It can.”

“Are you for sure and certain?”

“Absolutely.”

Anne felt all colour drain from her face. “Oh my goodness,” she said very dramatically, “I am doomed, the most exciting day of my life will surely be ruined because bad luck follows me like a plague! Do I look ill, Gilbert?”

Gilbert stood up from his chair by the desk and walked up to her. He bent down in front of her and examined her face. In her panic, she still couldn’t help noticing just how close he was to her. “A little bit,” he admitted with a nod.

Anne let out a shaky breath. “Oh no, this is horrible, how did you never tell me about this?! I could’ve tried to avoid it!”

That was when he burst out laughing very loudly. She stared at him with horror-struck eyes, not seeing anything funny about her possible death. “I was only kidding, Anne-girl,” he confessed in between his laughter.

“Gilbert Blythe!” she cried out and stood up from the arm chair. “How dare you! You seriously had me there!”

“I could– I could see that,” he said, now sitting on the floor and holding his stomach while laughing.

Her flash of anger was gone as soon as it had appeared, but she wanted to be mad at him for a little longer. “It wasn’t funny at all!” she protested and sat down beside him.

“It was – you should’ve seen your face,” he said, his laughter calming down by the minute.

“It was not.”

“Whatever you say, Anne.”

“You shouldn’t use your knowledge in medicine to scare the life out of me.”

“I’m sorry,” Gilbert snorted.

“You’re not.”

“That’s true.”

A peal of small laughter erupted from him and she could no longer keep the smile from spreading on her lips.

“If you laugh at me one more time, I will break your ribcage,” she said in a non-threatening voice.

He let out a chuckle. “Will my finger do? I’ve become rather fond of that beautiful set of bones around my chest.”

“It’s not revenge if you get to have a say on it.”

“Oh please, Anne, have some mercy on my ribcage,” he begged, his grin reaching his ears. “It’s protecting some of my most precious organs.”

“Such as?” Anne challenged.

“Well, for example, it provides protection for my lungs and my...,” there was a short pause as he took a sharp intake of breath, “…heart.”

She felt her chest tighten and her smile fade from her lips. It was a simple word but it had such a strong effect on her, and now her own heart was beating at an uneven rhythm and there was no way for her to control it. Suddenly she became way too aware of how close they were. If Anne put her hand on the floor, it would nearly touch Gilbert’s. All laughter was gone from his face too, and he just stared her deep in the eyes. Anne’s ears were ringing and she felt surreal. 

Gilbert’s gaze shifted slightly and he looked down at her lips, then his attention was back on her eyes.

Lips. Gilbert’s were such a long distance away, yet so close. It would take no time at all to close that gap…

_Wait, what?!_

Anne’s eyes widened in shock. “I need to go,” she said quickly and got up from the floor in the speed of light. “Thank you for your company and see you on Sunday.”

She rushed out of the room, sprinted down the stairs and exited the house. The dusk had already set so she kept on tripping over the bumps on the road, her frustration growing stronger each time that happened. She ran as fast as she could, hoping the pace would be too fast for her feelings to keep up. But no matter how fast her feet carried her, there was no mistaking in the dizziness of her head and the uneven beating of her heart. 

Diana was right after all; Anne was falling for Gilbert Blythe, fast, hard and irrevocably.


	10. Insecurity Is a Pesky Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii my fellow kindred spirits! for once I almost stayed in my schedule (this chapter was supposed to be up yesterday). it's a bit of a filler-chapter, but an important one nevertheless. our poor girl is feeling insecure because of her newly discovered feelings.
> 
> in the next chapter, the much-talked masquerade will take place!! I'm so excited to start writing it aaaaaaaaaah  
hope you enjoy this chapter!!! love you <3

Anne didn’t know what to do with herself and all the emotions her brain was making her go through all at once. She felt as though she was trapped in an invisible room and her feelings had the power to slam her against the walls. Ever since she came home from Gilbert’s on Friday, she hadn’t been able to sleep much. In fact, she was sure she hadn’t slept at all. When she saw herself in the mirror, being so sleep deprived and all, she thought she looked very much like she used to before she was taken in by Marilla and Matthew – tired, pitiful and messy. 

She didn’t understand how the realisation of her having developed very strong feelings for Gilbert Blythe was enough to make her look the same as years of enslavement did. Had she become that weak? Why was she reacting to her emotions with even more emotions? Like, how did that make any sense?

It was a funny thing, her mind. One moment she felt like her romantic feelings for Gilbert made her suffocate and feel like she was fifty feet below the water surface, and then the next moment she couldn’t stop smiling like a fool. It was constant yo-yoing between _oh no_ and _oh yes_, and she couldn’t figure out whether she liked these newly discovered feelings. 

The morning before the Sunday church had been an _oh no_ moment. She had seriously considered staying at Green Gables. She had stayed in bed for as long as possible, to the point where Marilla had marched into her room asking what on earth was going on. When Anne had told her she felt a little sick, she had not received compassion from Marilla. She had seen right through her, even underneath the blankets and pillows. Marilla’s response?

“Fiddlesticks. There was nothing wrong with you yesterday. You are not missing a Sunday church just because you don’t feel like attending. No, do not look at me like that, Anne, you’re coming and that’s final.”

So to the church she went. To protest Marilla’s stubbornness, she left her hair unbrushed, but she honestly regretted this decision after they were halfway there and she could no longer do anything about it. To keep her mind busy from any dangerous thoughts that involved a certain Blythe she had to see very soon, she tried to come up with the most peculiar hairdos and how she could enhance them with wild flowers. Hair looked much more elegant when it was embellished by forget-me-nots. 

“You are very quiet, Anne. Is something wrong?” Marilla asked, all that coldness vanished from her voice, replaced by worry and warmth.

Anne tore her eyes off the side of the road and turned to look at Marilla who was smiling down at her. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet,” she answered honestly.

“You haven’t decided yet?”

“I haven’t. I swear I will let you know once my mind has calmed enough for me to be able to make some sense of it.”

Marilla nodded slowly with a puzzled expression on her face, not sure whether she was to be worried or amused by this. Matthew was deep in thought next to them, looking at Anne and probably trying to figure out the same thing as his sister. Anne was sure they thought she had done something Anne-like, in the bad sense.

When they arrived, Anne soon found out that John Blythe was alone. During these weeks she had learned that Gilbert never left his father’s side unless he had to, so the sight made her both confused and worried. 

“I need to talk to Mr. Blythe,” Anne told Marilla and Matthew before leaving them by the cart. 

John was, as usual, engaged in a conversation with someone whose back was turned on Anne so she couldn’t immediately identify the person. 

“Mr. Blythe,” she shouted. 

His eyes travelled across the yard before he spotted Anne and he smiled at her. “Good morning, Anne.”

The man John had been talking to turned around, and Anne wasn’t very gleeful to find out he was Mr. Andrews; she had never been in his good books after unintentionally spreading rumours about his daughter Prissy. She, however, decided to ignore his presence and she didn’t even look at him. She reflected John’s smile on her face.

“Good morning,” she replied. “Is everything fine with Gilbert?”

“Yes, everything is perfectly fine, do not worry,” Mr. Blythe replied with a chuckle. “Gilbert said he has a very important exam tomorrow and he wanted to spend this time studying instead.”

Anne’s smile dropped. “Oh,” was the only thing to come out of her mouth.

“That man doesn’t miss a chance to get his nose stuck in those medical books, does he?” Mr. Andrews joked.

“He wants to be a good doctor, and I’m not standing in the way of his dreams,” John replied with pride in his voice.

Anne forced the smile back on her face. “He indeed is very ambitious. Well, I will get back to Marilla and Matthew, thank you for your time, Mr. Blythe.”

Once she turned her back on the two men, her smile faded again. Gilbert didn’t have an exam tomorrow. She knew this because she had memorised his exam schedule for the Spring semester. He didn’t have an exam until after two weeks.

It felt like solid ice was being washed through her system. 

“Anne!” a familiar voice sounded somewhere in the short distance.

She turned around to see Diana speed walking towards her, a wide smile raising up her cheeks. Anne dearly wished she could share her bosom friend’s excitement, but she didn’t find it in her heart to even try to fake a smile at that moment. She was unable to feel anything else apart from the ice inside her.

Diana knew immediately something was up and she furrowed her forehead in concern. “What’s the matter?”

“I– could you skip this Sunday church with me?” 

Diana opened and closed her mouth in utter confusion, then she looked behind her where the rest of the Barrys were making their way inside the church. Surprisingly enough none of them paid any attention to Diana’s whereabouts, but Anne knew her friend was having qualms. 

“I know you want to please your parents so that they won’t withdraw their promise to let you attend Queens, but I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t gravely important. I feel like I am on the edge of a very deep well full of monstrous nightmares,” she pleaded quietly so no one would hear her. 

Diana looked at her and nodded unsurely. Anne sighed in relief and took Diana’s hand in hers and squeezed it as a silent thank-you. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve to have found such an amazing kindred spirit.

They made it look like they were going into the church with the tiny sea of people, but by the stairs they walked to the side to fix their dresses and appearance and nobody remarked on their behaviour as this seemed to be something many Avonlean women did before walking into an important place. Once everyone but the two of them was inside, they ran behind the church and into the small forest behind it.

“What’s wrong?” Diana asked after they came to a halt.

“Everything!” Anne said very dramatically. “I think I have fallen for Gilbert Blythe! No, I most certainly have!”

Diana’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Are you serious?”

“Yes!”

“Why, I’m so happy for you!”

“Don’t be! There’s nothing to be happy about!”

Diana wasn’t following. “But…I don’t understand. Why? You’re to be with him for the rest of your life, isn’t this a good thing?”

“No, because he despises me,” Anne said mournfully, sitting onto the trunk of a fallen tree with an angry groan. 

“Why would he?”

“Because, because on Friday we were spending time at his house and we had a moment–“

“A moment? Oh, my goodness, did you kiss him?!”

“What? No! I mean, I wanted to, but I didn’t! We just had a moment that made me understand the confusing feelings I’ve had for weeks now. I freaked out and ran. I suppose he saw right through me and was grossed out because he didn’t have the courage to face me today! He told his father he has an exam to study for, but I know he doesn’t! He must hate me now, he must think I am a lunatic for falling for him so quickly. Oh, Diana, I think I’ll have my tragical romance after all, except it’ll be very one-sided and all I can do is pretend I’m inside the pages of a well-written novel to bring me comfort.”

Diana sat next to her on the tree and looked at her side profile worriedly. “Are you sure he didn’t actually stay in to study? You know how passionate he was about his studies back when we went to the Avonlean school, maybe he just wants to have an outstanding mark?” she suggested.

Anne sighed. “No, it’s not that. He has never missed the Sunday church, why would this time be any different if it weren’t for the fact he didn’t want to see me?”

“But…this doesn’t make any sense. I was so sure he had a crush on you–“

“He what?” Anne interrupted, staring at Diana with a shocked expression. “No, there’s no way he ever had any romantical feelings for me when there were girls like you and Ruby around him,” she reasoned and turned to look at some distant tree ahead of them, diving deep into her own thoughts. “I was always so, so mean to him and he was always kind to me. How could anyone ever have a crush on someone that seemingly hates them when everyone else around them is being ever so nice to them? In fact, it’s a miracle he didn’t begin to hate me sooner!”

“You’re thinking into it way too much, Anne. I’m sure he didn’t see it like that. I know there’s a proper explanation to all of this, there just has to be. He really cares about you, always has and always will, that’s plain obvious.”

Anne let out yet another deep sigh and rested her head on her knees. The trunk was slippery and she could feel her shoes slowly slide along it, making the position less comfortable by the second, but she didn’t care. It was hard to care about irrelevant matters when one’s mind was occupied by despair and lack of self-confidence. She couldn’t stop feeling sorry for herself.

Diana placed her hand on Anne’s shoulder. “You were brave for coming to the church today, I would have been scared to do that myself if I were you.”

“I didn’t want to come, but Marilla left me with no choice.”

When there was no immediate response from Diana, Anne raised her head from her knees and glanced at her friend. There was an unreadable expression on her face, but she did seem content about something.

“What?” Anne asked, surprised by how blunt the word sounded coming out of her mouth.

“Didn’t it cross your mind that Gilbert might have figured out his feelings for you, too? Perhaps he needed to buy himself more time to clear his mind, or what if he isn’t sure what to do with his feelings for you and is scared?”

“But Gilbert always seems so…confident, and like he knows what he’s doing, how could he be scared?” 

“You don’t know the contents of his mind, Anne. You can’t be sure until you ask him. Perhaps you should go to him tonight? Have a re-run of that night some weeks back?”

Anne groaned which made Diana chuckle. “Don’t remind me of that night, my mind has already punished me enough for doing something so stupid.” She stood up from the trunk and she instantly felt the dampness of her bottom. As she cleaned the dirt off her dress, she spoke: “I will not give him the satisfaction of knowing that I care about his not being here. I will see him tomorrow either way unless he comes up with a reason to cancel our study hours.”

Now it was Diana’s turn to heave a sigh. She shook her head and she looked like there were many things she’d have liked to say but decided to keep her thoughts to herself. “He won’t, I’m sure of it. Gilbert could never hate you, Anne. You didn’t see the way he was always looking at you in class, and there’s no way _that_ could be turned to hatred.”

Anne yawned – the sleepless nights were starting to take a toll on her. She didn’t believe Gilbert had ever liked her as more than a friend, and whatever Diana had been observing was a misunderstanding. People often mistook kindness as flirting, so it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that he had just happened to look in Anne’s direction while smiling and Diana had just happened to look at him and misinterpret the entire situation. 

Her tiredness made her unwilling to argue back, so she smiled and reached out her hand to help Diana stand up from the tree trunk. 

“Let’s not worry about it for now, I want to enjoy these last moments with you before we get scolded by Marilla and your parents for not being at the ceremony. And no matter what happens, we are going to have so much fun at the masquerade,” she said with a twinkle of excitement in her voice. They began walking back to the church hand in hand. “I can’t wait to see Cole and Aunt Jo again – do you think Cole will have company with him? I really hope he does, he must’ve met many kindred spirits at his art school. I forgot to ask about that last time. I’ve never been to a masquerade, so there’s been so much scope for imagination for me to picture one in my mind’s eyes, each picture more thrilling and exciting, but I’m sure none of them will live up to the real thing. Oh, just thinking about it makes me forget all my worries! Life doesn’t seem as cruel as it is when you’ve got something to look forward to, does it?”


	11. The Masquerade Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg, I am so sorry for the long wait once again! :( we're understaffed at work and I need to do crazy hours because of that, and I just don't have the energy to write after a long day at work. 
> 
> I hope I haven't lost all my readers! I will try to become better at updating again.

The large boxes containing Anne and Diana’s dresses were difficult to carry from Avonlea to Charlottetown; they were too big and heavy to get a good grip on them, the train was too crowded and the extra space by their seats was almost non-existent. On the train, they had to keep the boxes on their laps, and the hard and sharp edges felt uncomfortable against their wrists, and they also had to look after their small bags in which their spare clothes and other belongings were, but none of this was enough to extinguish their excitement. 

Anne could hardly believe it was finally the day she had been waiting for weeks. She had barely slept or eaten today, for her thoughts were completely focused on more important matters. The bags under Diana’s eyes gave Anne an inkling that her bosom friend had been awake for the majority of the night, too, but nothing in her presence resembled tiredness. In fact, she had never seen her friend more awake than now – her eyes were wide and her smile was spread across her entire face, and it seemed to be an expression she could not shake off.

“It can’t be long until we’re in Charlottetown,” Diana said hopefully. “It feels like we’ve been sitting on this train for hours.”

“I know,” Anne sighed and eyed the fellow passengers, hoping to see someone who looked like they were on their way to the masquerade as well. “Time lingers on when it shouldn’t. Is Aunt Jo still going to pick us up from the train station? As much as I love walking, I can’t imagine carrying this heavy dress all the way to her home – my arms are already tired.”

“She said she would send someone, and I haven’t heard a word from her since, so I suppose someone should be there,” Diana said.

“So, since we’ll be there soon, do you have any last-minute advice I should know before meeting Ms. Barry?” Gilbert asked.

Anne moved her attention from the passengers to Gilbert who was sitting next to her. He was looking between her and Diana, who was sitting opposite to them, with an expectant look, waiting for either of them to speak.

Diana bit her lip and adjusted her grip on the box, looking a bit uncomfortable before she said; “Well, you should know that Aunt Jo is very good friends with people that are…not as socially accepted as normal people are. These people have decided to…go a completely different route in life.”

Gilbert nodded slowly. “They sound like a bunch of interesting people, then.”

“They are!” Anne exclaimed enthusiastically, her eyes fixed on the other passengers once again. “When Diana, Cole and I attended one of Aunt Jo’s parties years ago, I met so many wonderful people. You would think that once you’ve talked with tens of different people, you’d begin to lose your interest, but they all were so unique one after the other. I felt l like I learned more about the world and how diverse it can be from those people than I ever did in Mr. Phillips’ classes.”

She turned to look at Gilbert, and she felt her insides do a somersault when she saw him smiling at her. She returned the smile ever-so vaguely before tearing off her eyes from his face. 

They had not talked. Last Sunday talking about his absence at the church sounded like a good idea, but when she was face-to-face with him the following day, she felt like she didn’t want to know why he had not been there. And since he hadn’t offered any explanation without being asked for one, the topic had died before it had even been formed. They had gone on like that Friday hadn’t happened, studying Gilbert’s medical books and talking about things they had done that day, but Anne couldn’t help but notice a very obvious change in the way they were around each other; they both kept their reasonable distance and the atmosphere seemed tense.

Anne knew they should talk and get on the same page again, but what was the point when it was obvious they both knew what was going on; she had fallen for Gilbert and he didn’t want that. Diana had told her about Gilbert’s crush on her back in school, but whatever he had felt back then was very clearly long gone now. Anne respected that and tried her best to ignore her feelings, but it was impossible to not pay attention to how much she wanted to just hold his hand or plant a kiss on his cheek whenever she was near him. She was doomed.

When the train finally arrived at Charlottetown, Gilbert helped both of them by taking the large boxes and disappeared behind the corner before the corridors were crowded by people getting out of the train. Anne attempted to stand up from her seat, but Diana placed a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to sit back down.

“What?” Anne asked confusedly upon seeing her friend’s narrowed eyes peering at her.

“You didn’t talk to him.” It wasn’t a question. 

They hadn’t seen each other since the church, and somehow Anne felt stupid for not realising this conversation was coming for her sooner or later.

She sighed. “It wasn’t important.”

“Anne,” Diana began, “you need to talk to him! You could be married to him in a few months’ time, you need to learn to communicate with him! You’re going to live the rest of your life in agony if you don’t!”

“It’s fine, Diana, honestly,” Anne protested and attempted a weak smile.

“No, it’s not. I could see the tension between you, and that’s not good. You both must know what’s going on in your heads.”

“Alright, alright,” Anne said and raised her hands next to her head as a sign of defeat. “I will talk to him. Can we go now? I don’t want to keep Aunt Jo waiting.”

Diana cast a suspicious look at Anne.

“I promise,” she continued and stood up. This time Diana didn’t stop her. 

Diana’s face softened immediately, and she let out a sigh of relief. “I just don’t want you to be miserable for nothing,” she said apologetically. 

Anne smiled at her friend fondly. “I know that, and you’re right – I do have to talk to him, but it’s so terrifying to talk about feelings. I suddenly feel so vulnerable.”

Diana studied her face with a sad look and spoke as she stood up; “Whatever the outcome, at least he won’t be able to run from you.”

Anne was sure Diana had meant to comfort her despite her words doing everything but.

“Honestly, Diana? I think that makes it all the worse. In a normal situation, he’d at least have a choice.”

Anne grew more and more excited on their way to Josephine Barry’s home. She had indeed sent someone to pick them up with a beautiful carriage, and both Diana and Anne were grateful to not have to carry their dresses in their arms anymore. Gilbert only had a bag in which he kept his attire for the evening so his journey had been significantly more comfortable so far. Anne still didn’t know what his masquerade outfit looked like; her mind had been very occupied by trying to conceal her feelings in front of him that there barely had been any room for other thoughts. It was annoying how very much aware she became of what she felt for him when she was supposed to bury those emotions.

When they arrived, their driver took care of their belongings and directed them towards the door. The decorations outside of the house were a lot different from what they were in the party Anne, Diana and Cole once attended. Anne couldn’t quite put her finger on how to call the decoration, but it definitely had a more serious and darker atmosphere to it, but not in a bad way; after all, she supposed that a masquerade was supposed to be more dramatical and mysterious. A man she didn’t know was tending to some flowers that were going to end up on the wall of the house, and she had to resist the urge to greet him – his back was turned on them and Anne didn’t want to scare him.

Before they stepped on the stairs, the large front door was opened and Cole’s grinning face appeared from behind it.

“Cole!” Anne cried and ran to him. She flung her arms around his neck with so much enthusiasm that he had to take a few supporting steps backward to not lose his balance. “I’m so glad to see you!”

Cole laughed into her hair and mumbled something that sounded like ‘I’m glad to see you, too’. They broke the hug and Anne kept her hands on his shoulders, a tiny laugh escaping her mouth after seeing Cole’s face properly again. Her friend made her so, so happy.

“Hi, Cole,” both Diana and Gilbert said almost at the same time. 

“It’s good to see you, it’s been years, hasn’t it?” Gilbert added conversationally.

“Let them in, Cole, I would like to see my most important guests of the night, too,” a familiar voice sounded inside before Cole could reply.

“So great that you all could come,” he finally said with a genuine smile and moved out of the doorway. 

They stepped in, and the familiar scent of perfume filled the air in an instant. The smell was always present whenever Anne paid a visit, and she was happy to find out it hadn’t gone anywhere. Aunt Jo was waiting for them by the staircase, looking ever so elegant and beautiful. She had her chin up but in a way that didn’t make her seem intimidating.

“Welcome, my darlings, welcome,” she said happily and moved towards them with open arms.

Anne would’ve been more than happy to be the first to get lost in Aunt Jo’s embrace – she had missed her so much – but she didn’t want to be impolite, so she let Diana go first. After the hug the two of them talked in silent voices, so Anne turned to look at Cole and Gilbert who stood on her left side. 

“So, Cole,” she began, “do you have a date for tonight?”

The question took him by surprise and he coughed into his fist awkwardly as his cheeks turned into a shade of pink. Gilbert couldn’t hide his amusement despite trying.

“I, uh…it’s complicated,” he said after he had collected himself. “I did invite someone from the art school, but I am not sure if my invitation was accepted.”

Anne felt a rush of emotions wash over her and she could’ve cried from happiness. Cole was interested in someone! 

“Don’t worry, Cole, you’re such a lovable person, I’m sure he will come,” she said reassuringly, believing every word she said.

Cole shot an alarmed look in Gilbert’s direction which was when she realised that Gilbert wasn’t aware of Cole’s secret. She had totally forgotten that they barely knew each other at all. She knew that she’d make things worse if she said something, so she remained silent, trying to convey her apology through her expressions.

Gilbert didn’t seem to notice the horror-struck looks on their faces. “I agree with Anne, he will come,” he said and smiled.

Both Cole and Anne let out deep sighs out of pure relief. Of course Gilbert didn’t care, he was such an accepting person, always kind to others and just nearly perfect in every way. Anne could feel her ribcage become too small for her heart, and it took her a lot of self-control to not throw her arms around him and kiss him. 

Fortunately Aunt Jo came to aid and distracted Anne’s thoughts from going too far by speaking loud enough for all of them to hear; “I suppose you must be Gilbert Blythe, Anne’s fiancé.”

Yeah, so much for the distraction.

“Yes–“

“He’s not my fiancé!” Anne rushed to say, cheeks turning red. Everyone turned to look at her. “Yet,” she added quietly, feeling the red colour deepen on her face. 

There was a short pause. Gilbert broke it by coughing. “Nevertheless, yes, I am Gilbert Blythe,” he said, his voice sounding strange. “And thank you for the invitation. I really appreciated the gesture.”

He stretched out his arm for Aunt Jo to shake.

“The pleasure was all mine, I’ve heard so many good things about you,” she replied, freeing her hand from Gilbert’s and placing it on his shoulder. “And when Cole told me about your and Anne’s engagement, I knew I had to see what you’re made of with my own eyes.”

“We’re not–“

“Well, I do hope I’ve made a good impression so far,” Gilbert cut Anne off, raising his voice so hers was drowned behind it.

“You most certainly have, young man,” Aunt Jo confirmed with a warm smile.

“Gilbert and I–“

“I’ve also heard a lot of appreciation towards you,” Gilbert continued.

Anne was confused.

Aunt Jo chuckled. “Well, that praise has definitely not come from Mr. and Mrs. Barry.” She then turned to look at Diana and Anne. “Diana just informed me that you have two very beautiful dresses and masks to go with them, but nothing else. Would you be interested in trying something you’ve never tried before?”

“What is it?” Diana asked curiously. 

Anne was just staring at Gilbert who was avoiding her eyes with all his might. She felt frustration and sadness grow inside her. If he despised her, why didn’t he let her tell Aunt Jo that they weren’t truly engaged yet? It didn’t make any sense. 

“My friend arrived yesterday. He’s an artist, but his specialty is doing the art on people’s faces,” Aunt Jo explained. 

“Make-up, you mean?” Diana said in a tone of surprise.

It was clear Gilbert was purposefully not looking at Anne. She wanted to burn holes in his head with her fiery glare. He wasn’t doing anything and yet he was doing such a good job at getting on her nerves. What was his problem? He couldn’t hate her _that_ much.

Anne was startled when she felt hands on both sides of her upper arms, gently pushing her as a suggestion to move forward.

“That sounds wonderful, Aunt Jo. Anne and I would love that,” she heard Diana say behind her, and with her guidance they moved toward the staircase. She leaned in to whisper into Anne’s ear; “What’s wrong?”

Those words made Anne shoot one last look at Gilbert who she caught looking at her but turning away the second their eyes met. 

“I hate him! I don’t know what I was thinking!” Anne said angrily, sitting on the edge of a king-sized bed.

Aunt Jo’s friend, the make-up artist, was working on Diana’s face by the large mirror. Cole had decided to join them a bit later as he had also sensed there to be something strange in Anne’s behaviour in the hallway. He was sitting on a chair next to Diana, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion as he tried to understand his friend.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Everything!” Anne cried out, kicking her feet in the air furiously. “First I am forced to marry someone who I barely knew, then he had the audacity to be all nice to me, and then I was foolish enough to fall for him, and now he suddenly doesn’t want to have anything to do with me! Actually, now that I think about it, I am glad he doesn’t! I hate him too, probably more than he does me!”

“Wait, you’re in love with Gilbert?” Cole blurted out and a smile spread on his lips. “Took you long enough to realise that.”

“It’s not funny, Cole! Besides, don’t ever again mention the word ‘love’ in a sentence that involves Gilbert, his name rots the beauty of that word!”

“Anne,” Diana began, “you’re overreacting.”

“Way too much,” Cole added. “Have you ever considered the possibility that he likes you back?”

“How could he? All he’s been doing is avoid me this past week!” Anne said, anger still making her sound harsh.

“And you’ve been doing the exact same thing,” Diana reminded her, trying to create eye contact with her through the mirror. “This is precisely why you should’ve talked things through with him.”

“And there’s no way he doesn’t like you,” Cole said confidently. “There’s no mistaking in the way he looks at you when you’re not looking. And you should’ve seen his face when you were so quick to tell Josephine that he’s not your fiancé.”

“But he isn’t,” Anne tried to protest.

“That’s not the point,” Cole said. “It broke his heart to hear you say it.”

“How do you know that for sure?” she asked hesitantly. Her anger was slowly fading, allowing her to think more rationally. 

“I was right there next to him,” he reminded her. “I am sure Gilbert doesn’t feel anything but affection towards you.”

“But why was he avoiding my gaze downstairs? He was being ever so rude cutting me off like that, and then I received nothing but cold treatment from him afterwards.”

Diana stood up from her chair and turned to face Anne. She looked so different with make-up – the man hadn’t put a lot of it on her face, but when Anne had never seen Diana with lipstick or blush before, even the tiniest change seemed huge. Her bosom friend looked dashing.

“In all seriousness, Anne, I believe this is something you should ask Gilbert himself. I do have a theory, and I’m sure Cole does, too,” Cole nodded at that with a grin, “but I think it is better if you hear the truth instead of our assumptions. You need to clear the air between you before the night anyway, you’re going to spend every moment by his side and it’d be such a waste to ruin your first ever masquerade ball because of misunderstandings,” Diana said. 

Anne let out a sigh as she walked over to the chair and sat down. She didn’t know what to say to that. She was still hesitant, and now that her anger was gone, it was quickly being replaced with sadness and hopelessness. How could she ever find out what Gilbert truly felt for her when she was so afraid of being turned down by him? Like Diana told her on the train – he couldn’t run from her. That was what made it all so frightening. Her friends seemed convinced, but there was no telling they were right. 

However, as she stared herself into the mirror and thought things over, Anne realised she was only torturing herself with her sulky and hateful thoughts. The only way to learn about the contents of Gilbert’s mind was to ask him. She had to do it, for the sake of her own sanity.

“Alright,” Anne finally said after a prolonged silence. “I’ll do it. I will talk to him.”


	12. The Masquerade Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised some of you I wouldn't keep you waiting too long, and I stayed true to that promise!
> 
> Here's the second part of the masquerade, I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> ps. I love how this story was supposed to be 10 chapters long but I don't know how to sum things up so it's taken me 12 chapters to get to THIS point of the story and I'm not even half done with everything I want to include in this fic lol

Anne and Diana were ready for the night. They had spent such a long time perfecting their hairdos and going through different hair accessories that Diana had brought with her just in case. Cole had retreated to his own room to get ready and to escape the girls’ relentless questioning about the mysterious boy he had invited to the masquerade, and much to their disappointment, he had kept his lips sealed (though that had not stopped him from blushing). 

“There,” Diana said after placing a black lacy flower on Anne’s hair, backing away a few steps and tilting her head to take a look at it. “That will look great with your mask.”

Anne turned around to look herself in the small mirror by the desk that was situated by the window. It was slightly open, and the sounds of more and more people arriving to the ball filled the air. The friendly chatter and hearty laughter brought a thrilling atmosphere into their room, and Anne was beginning to feel more than ready to go downstairs to meet and talk with everyone.

She turned her head to the sides to see the flower from different angles, and a smile spread across her lips. The flower looked perfectly elegant at the root of her curly bun.

“It’s magnificent,” she breathed out and looked at Diana. She took her best friend’s hand and walked towards the mirror that was big enough for both of them to see themselves in it. 

“I can’t remember the last time I looked like a royalty,” Diana said in a dreamy voice. 

“Oh, Diana, you always look like one,” Anne assured her, admiring their dresses. 

Diana’s dress was navy blue and it looked more medieval than Anne’s. It had long see-through sleeves with flowers embroidered on them, and the chest was covered in some shiny things Anne couldn’t put a name on. They looked like diamonds but she knew they couldn’t be real. It was like Diana’s chest was a starry night’s sky.

“Are you ready?” Diana asked.

“To experience my first ever masquerade and meet all those interesting people and make new acquaintances and dance through the night? I have never been this eager to get out of a door, Diana!” Anne exclaimed in excitement, eyeing the door as though doing so would bring it closer.

“Well, that too, but I meant Gilbert. Are you ready to talk to him?”

The smile on Anne’s face faltered and she felt the knots tighten in her stomach. She had let herself momentarily forget what was awaiting her _before_ all the fun could begin. “I suppose the longer I wait, the less ready I will be.”

Diana released the breath she had been holding. She smiled broadly at Anne and took her hand in hers. “It’ll be fine, trust me.”

Anne smiled weakly at her. “I wish I shared your confidence.”

It was already very loud downstairs, and as they descended the stairs, Anne could not even see the floor from the sea of dresses – many a guest had stayed in the hallway, and they were engaged in cheerful conversations. Everyone was holding a glass of champagne and some had already covered their eyes with their masks. 

“Let’s find him,” Diana said under her breath before they reached the downstairs. “You’ll have time to talk to every single one of these people later.”

“Can’t Gilbert wait? I am dying to get to know these people,” Anne asked, confident that her idea was much better.

“If you don’t do it now, you won’t do it tonight at all,” her friend said knowingly. “It’s better to be over with it sooner than later.”

“What if what he says will ruin my night?”

“That won’t happen.”

Some of the people at the root of the stairs seemed to recognise either Anne or Diana or both as they greeted them with great enthusiasm. Anne would’ve very much loved to stay and ask some questions – some woman was wearing such a peculiar hat and she was dying to know its origins – but Diana was very determined to go through with the initial plan of the night, so with the help of their linked hands, she forced her to come with her, giving Anne enough time to utter out a simple ‘hi’ to those who had greeted them. 

When they made it out of the hallway, Anne came to realise those people were just a handful out of all the attendees. Every room they passed was filled with guests, and she was fully convinced Aunt Jo had at least tripled the number of people she invited for this party. 

“Have you seen him?” Diana asked after walking around for a while.

Anne had not been looking for him at all, she just realised. “No,” she said sheepishly. 

Diana looked at her over her shoulder and released their hands. There was a slight frown on her face and Anne felt those knots inside her tighten even more. They came to a halt near the entrance to an outdoor garden that looked surprisingly deserted.

“This is so inconvenient,” Diana said in frustration and looked around. “He could be wearing his mask and we may have walked past him several times without realising!”

That was very true. Anne didn’t even know what Gilbert’s outfit looked like, so the chances of recognising him in this mass were rather slim. They did not seem to be the only couple who had decided to go with the royalty theme and dressed up as a prince and a princess. She had been meaning to ask him to show her his attire this week, but somehow she could never slide that topic into their study hours. She had never had so many difficulties finding words as she had had the previous week. 

“Cole’s there,” Diana said brightly and her hand found Anne’s again. “Let’s go.”

Cole was leaning against the glass doors that led to the dancing room, staring into nothingness. Although he wore an empty look, the way he twiddled the cuff of his shirt’s sleeve made it evident he was nervous. Anne knew what had brought her friend to that state of mind.

“My, my, look at you,” she said with a wide grin as they approached him. Cole turned his head in their direction and smiled. “You look spectacular, like an artist from the 15th century!”

He nodded sadly. “I told him I was going to dress up as one, and that if he’d like to come then he should wear something similar.”

“That’s a wonderful idea!” Anne said.

Cole shrugged and looked Anne straight in the eyes. “He isn’t here yet, what if he doesn’t come at all? What if he doesn’t want to wear what I’m wearing?”

Diana placed her free hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. “He will come.”

“Diana’s right, he wouldn’t miss a chance to spend time with you,” Anne said.

“How do you know?” 

“Because we know you, and everyone who knows you, adores you,” Diana explained.

“And we know it takes time for you to let people in because of what you’ve gone through, and if he’s made you comfortable enough to invite him here, then he must be a real kindred spirit,” Anne continued, giving Cole a reassuring smile. “Trust us, he will come. He’s just fashionably late.”

He smiled gratefully at them, his spirits seemingly lifted up. Just as Anne was about to ask him what his date’s name was, Diana beat her to it and spoke first.

“Have you seen Gilbert by any chance?”

Cole looked over the mass of people and beckoned it with his head. “He’s over there.”

Both Diana and Anne turned to look in that direction. The moment Anne’s eyes laid upon him, she knew it was Gilbert. He was wearing a black jacket with golden details on the front and the cuffs, and its hem was slightly longer from the back. He appeared to have a vest with similar golden details underneath the jacket along with a white shirt. He was talking with someone who was saying something funny, for Gilbert was laughing.

Anne felt her heart skip a couple of beats. He was so beautiful. Like a real Victorian prince. She could’ve just stood there and admired his beauty from a distance.

Diana and Cole had other plans for her. “Go!” Diana egged her on and pushed her slightly forward.

Anne grew nervous. “Do I have to?” she asked hesitantly.

“You must,” Cole said, all that sadness long gone. He was grinning now like this was the best day of his life.

Anne took a few steps towards Gilbert who still was unaware of their presence. She assumed there were 100 feet in between them. 

What was she going to tell him? How was he going to react? What if he did hate her?

She turned around and ran back to her friends. “I can’t! I’m just thinking about the worst possible outcomes and they scare me! Why is talking about feelings so terrifying? I feel so exposed and I haven’t even told him anything yet!”

“Come on, Anne,” Cole said with a groan. “If there was a way to show you how Gilbert looks at you like you’re the Sun and the world rotates around you to give you some confidence, I would. You’re going to marry him eventually, you can’t run from him for the rest of your life.”

“Listen to Cole,” Diana said and continued with a smile; “You can do it.”

Anne stood still for a moment before taking a deep breath and turning around once again. She could do it. She wasn’t going to be a coward. So with her newly-found courage, she marched towards Gilbert. She tried her best to not think about what she was going to say, but the moment she was almost next to him, she regretted that decision very much – her mind was blank and she momentarily forgot what she was even supposed to do next.

“Anne,” Gilbert said softly once he spotted her. 

“Hi,” Anne said, unable to say anything else.

They both looked at each other, taking in the details of their attires up close. Anne realised she was staring, but she couldn’t help herself; he was much too beautiful and fairy-tale-like in his suit to not be admired. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she looked up to lock her eyes with Gilbert’s. She was so overcome with emotions that she wanted nothing more than to close that distance between their mouths. 

There was a cough next to them and Anne almost felt the bubble around her burst which sent her back to reality. She fixed her posture and turned to look in the direction where the cough came. It was the man Gilbert had been talking to. The man was smiling with a raised eyebrow, looking at Gilbert questioningly.

“Anne,” Gilbert said. His voice sounded like he hadn’t had water for weeks. He coughed in an attempt to fix that. “This is Sebastian Lacroix, I just met him. Sebastian, this is Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, my…”

Gilbert didn’t continue, instead, he looked at Anne with an uncertain look. He looked almost vulnerable like he was expecting the next words that came out of her mouth to stab him. That look reminded Anne of the conversation she had had with Diana and Cole upstairs a few hours ago about how hurt he had looked when she had been so quick to deny their engagement.

That was when she decided to play with fire, so she looked at Sebastian and smiled broadly. “Hi Sebastian, I’m Anne, Gilbert’s fiancée.” She reached out her hand for Sebastian to shake, and when he did he grinned at them.

“Please, just call me Bash,” he said with a chuckle. “Lovely to meet you, Anne. I think I will leave you two alone and go find my own sweetheart,” he added and walked into the sea of people. 

“He seemed nice,” Anne stated and followed Bash’s back as he disappeared out of sight.

“Princess Cordelia,” Gilbert said ceremonially. Anne turned to look at his smirking, though not mocking, face. She couldn’t help the warm feeling within her upon realising he remembered her imaginary name for herself although she had only mentioned it once in his presence. “It would be my utmost pleasure if you could join me on a stroll around the lovely garden.”

A silent giggle escaped her lips. He wanted to take their theme for the masquerade seriously, and she was all in for it. 

“Thank you for the offer, Your Highness, I will gladly take it,” she said grinning and curtsied for good measure. 

Gilbert let out a laugh at that, and they walked outside. On the way, Anne tried to look for Diana and Cole with her gaze but they had disappeared somewhere. She could only hope Cole’s date had arrived and Diana had found some company. 

They walked in silence for a while. She knew she had to speak up soon, but every time she was about to open her mouth, she thought her choice of words were ridiculous or stupid, so she shut it again. 

Why was it so difficult to bring it up? She knew the answer to that, but she still couldn’t stop wondering about it. Talking about feelings made her feel so vulnerable, so easy to be hurt, so weak and completely at someone’s mercy; giving a person the power to crush her heart was a scary thought. 

She became too aware of the silence and its pressure, so she decided to avoid the topic for a bit longer so she could fill the void with _something_. 

“This ball has been very lovely so far, don’t you think?” she said, using that same tone she had used a moment ago when pretending to be Princess Cordelia, hoping that Gilbert would catch up on it. Anne felt like the only way she could get through this was to pretend to be someone else because being plain Anne was way too nerve-wracking. 

“It is sublime,” Gilbert agreed. “So far it has fulfilled all my expectations.”

He had picked up her hint to go on with their little role play. Anne sighed in relief and allowed herself to relax a little bit. She looked around herself, taking in all the flowers in the garden. Since it was Spring, most of the flowers had not blossomed yet, but the vines and other plants made up for it and the view was breath-taking, even in the dimness of the evening.

“It has been wonderful to see so many people, in her castle, Princess Cordelia tends not to meet new faces although she very much would like for that to happen. However, there’s something about today that’s been troubling her very much,” Anne confessed. Her heart had taken its own course again. The moment had come.

“What is it?” Gilbert asked curiously, having no clue what was coming for him.

Anne took a deep breath. “Cordelia was talking with a certain red-headed girl who is going to marry a very lovely man, but the girl is scared.”

Gilbert nodded knowingly. “To get married?”

Anne shook her head. “No, of rejection. Despite swearing on her life she would not ever fall in love with this man, she did. I mean, how could she not? He has never been anything but wonderful and supportive to her, and he never judged her unlike everyone else around her did. Now her greatest fear is that he doesn’t want to be with her because he has been acting strange and distant around her, and he even missed the Sunday church right after she realised her feelings for him. She is afraid she’s going to ruin his life because he regrets their agreement on this lifelong bond. But she loves him with all her heart, and nothing can change that.”

Gilbert was silent. Anne couldn’t read his expression, which grew her nervousness even further. But even though she felt nervous, she was relieved she had finally done it. She had given him her heart and he could either take it or destroy it. Looking at him straight in the eyes was terrifying, so she dropped down her gaze to watch him play with one of the golden buttons on his jacket with his fingers.

“I have also heard of a man who is aspiring to be a doctor who will be married to the bravest and most beautiful girl he’s ever seen,” he began. Anne shot up her head. Gilbert smiled down at her and the entire look on his face was so _inviting_. “Ever since that girl came to that small town, he has had feelings for her, not entirely realising just how strong they were. He had always known he would have to marry someone not out of love, but more out of a sense of duty and keeping the family name intact, but when he learned it was she who he was going to marry, he felt like the happiest guy on earth. Not wanting to mess anything up, he wanted to be very, very careful and not let his affection for her show too much, but one day after he had teased her he thought he had gone too far and let his hopeless love for her show too much, which caused her to run out of his house. He wanted to give her space, which is why he began to keep his distance, waiting for her to give him any sign that would let him know he had not messed it all up. In the end, he couldn’t figure her out, so he kept on giving her space when the very thing he would’ve loved to do was to be close to her and tell her how much he loves her.”

Anne took a sharp intake of breath. She was so overcome with joy she could feel the tears in the corners of her eyes, and she let out a shaky laugh. All this time, Gilbert had loved her, and the only reason he had stayed away was he had thought Anne didn't love him back? She couldn’t believe this was happening.

“It sounds to me that these two have been giving mixed signals to each other,” she said, her voice shaking just like her laugh.

“What a waste of time,” he agreed.

Anne was about to say something, but she lost her train of thought when she felt Gilbert’s hand on her cheek. He gently stroked it with his thumb, and when she looked up at him, he was asking for permission with his eyes. Permission to kiss her.

She placed her other hand behind his neck and pulled him closer. Gilbert hadn’t expected her to make the move, so he let out a surprised gasp once their lips connected, but then he was kissing her back. He moved his hand from her cheek down to her waist, bringing her even closer to him. His lips felt so soft against hers and the small breaths he let out tickled her skin. Her other hand travelled along his jacket restlessly and she focused on his smell – it felt so familiar to her like she had always known it, and everything just felt so right about the moment. Her chest felt too small for all the emotions she was going through.

When they broke apart, Anne felt breathless. She wasn’t sure whether she was awake or in a very good dream, but the crazily beating heart gave her the idea that she was very much awake. She couldn’t suppress the wide smile that was creeping up on her lips, and the corners of Gilbert’s mouth were curving up too. He still had his hand on her waist and she still had her hand behind his neck, and she could still feel his breath on her skin. 

Despite her vast vocabulary, she knew no word that was big enough to describe this moment. It was beyond anything she had ever felt. 

She loved Gilbert, and Gilbert loved her back. 

She had her first kiss with a person she loved.  
Anne couldn’t have been happier.


	13. Visiting Queen's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! It's me. Does anyone remember this story? It's been almost a year since the last update, and I am so extremely sorry about that! A lot of things happened that made me lose interest in writing in general. I, however, hate unfinished works as much as the next person, so I have decided to pull myself together and finish this story. 
> 
> In the coming days, I will be writing an outline for all the remaining chapters, so soon you will also know how many more chapters this story is going to have. With the ideas I have for this fic, I'm looking roughly at 5ish more chapters.
> 
> Once again, I am so sorry for the delay! I hope there's still at least one folk out there who's willing to give me and my story one more chance <3

When Anne woke up the next morning, it was to a hand violently shaking her shoulder on the bed. She lazily opened her eyes to see Diana sitting next to her.

“Anne,” she said, relieved to have her finally awake, “where were you all night? Me, Cole and Roy couldn’t find you anywhere after you went to talk to Gilbert. How did it go?”

Anne didn’t respond immediately. The memories of last night appeared in her mind, first one at a time and then all at once, and it was impossible to focus on the details. It was like her brain was too excited to remind her of everything that had happened, and all the memories just flashed through her vision.

_She had kissed Gilbert._

She made an inhumane sound that sounded alarmingly much like crying and turned around to shove her face into the pillow. She didn’t know what to do with the sudden bursts of overwhelming bliss, she felt as though someone had set off a couple emotional fireworks inside her.

She felt Diana’s weight on her as she laid down to wrap her hands around her. “I’m so sorry, Anne! I should’ve known better than to force you to talk to him, I was so sure he would return your feelings. Can you forgive me?”

She sounded like her heart had been broken; her voice was cracking and desperate.

Anne smiled against the pillow and tried to rise up, but the weight of her best friend on her made it a challenging task. She attempted to lean on her elbows, but Diana’s grip on her was too tight, as if she was planning to grow attached to her. Anne assumed she was waiting for her to start crying.

“Diana,” she grunted, removing one of Diana’s arms from around her.

She released her grip and sat next to Anne, eyes darting around her face to see any flashes of anger or sorrow. “If you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise I will never push you to do anything you don’t want to do,” she said very, very fast and it took Anne a moment to realise what she had just said.

Anne finally sat up. She was still wearing the dress, and she didn’t want to imagine how divine her hair looked. She glanced at Diana who was nervously swinging her body back and forth on the spot.

“We kissed,” she said. There was no emotion in her voice, as though she still hadn’t fully understood the meaning of those words herself.

“You– what?” Diana blurted out eyes wide.

“I kissed him,” she repeated. A smile was creeping up on her lips and grew bigger and bigger by the second. “He loves me.”

“You kissed him?”

Anne nodded, now unable to stop smiling. “And not just once, my head was spinning so much I couldn’t keep up with the count. Oh, Diana, he is so wonderful!”

Diana took Anne’s hands in her and squeezed them. “I’m so happy for you. You must tell me everything that happened in the garden!”

And she did. She kept in as many details as she possibly could remember, trying to recreate the atmosphere that had surrounded her and Gilbert last night. Everything felt so surreal that it all could have been just a dream, but Anne still recalled the feeling of being kissed and she knew that not even her imagination could make it up – it was easy to conjure images of unknown places out of thin air, but she couldn’t envision emotions she had never felt before.

Diana looked as though she could burst with happiness by the time Anne was finished. They had held each other’s hands the whole time, but Diana broke the contact to give her best friend yet another tight hug. 

“I’m so happy for you!” she repeated. “Cole and Roy will be thrilled to hear about you and Gilbert.”

Anne pulled herself away from the hug and fixed her eyes on Diana. “Roy? Who’s Roy?”

“Cole’s date! He showed up immediately after you went after Gilbert, he is such a fascinating person. And he had a matching outfit with Cole! Unfortunately I cannot tell you much about him because I didn’t want to be a third wheel so I accompanied Aunt Jo and her friends.”

Anne sighed contently at the news. “We knew he would come, didn’t we? I need to find him before we leave and squeeze all the details out of him. What if they kissed too? Wouldn’t that be just divine!”

“I’m sure they did,” Diana said and they both began giggling.

Nothing could make Anne unhappy today, she was sure of that. It was wonderful to bask in that feeling of pure bliss.

When Anne and Diana stepped out of their room, Anne had put on the dress she wore yesterday before the masquerade, and Diana had helped her tame her hair so it wasn’t sticking out in all directions. They had agreed to go visit their friends at Queen’s as it had been ages since they last saw them, and especially Diana was keen to learn everything there was to know about the university life – she didn’t like to feel unprepared, and was ready to devour every bit of information she could get before applying to Queen’s herself.

Anne, too, was interested in hearing from her friends, but at the moment her mind was unable to proceed any other thought apart from Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilbert. She wanted nothing more than to see him again, hear his voice, his laugh, and feel his lips against hers. It was as though the kisses had given her mind a permission to be completely invaded by the thought of him. 

As they were about to go down the stairs, a door was shut close to them, gaining their attention. Gilbert was standing with his back on them, fiddling with the buttons on the cuff of his white shirt. Anne cast an admiring look at him, and for a moment she didn’t know how to breathe.

“See you outside in a few minutes,” Diana whispered, gave Anne a knowing smile and began to descend the stairs.

Wasting no time, Anne made her way towards Gilbert whose back was still turned on her, but once he heard the approaching steps he turned around and the frown on his face softened immediately into a warm smile upon seeing her.

“Hey,” Anne greeted breathlessly.

“Hi, my love,” he responded and gently placed his other hand around her waist. “Did you sleep well?”

“I haven’t slept better in weeks,” she said with a smile. “In fact, after last night I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my heart, and my entire being feels much lighter than before.”

Gilbert hummed in agreement. “I feel precisely the same. Do you have any plans for today? I thought we could take a stroll around the place this morning.”

“I would love to, but I already promised Diana to go to Queen’s to see our beloved friends today. We want to know what being at Queen’s is like and how they have enjoyed it so we will have an idea about what’s waiting for us this Autumn.”

If Gilbert was disappointed, he didn’t show it on his face or in his voice - in fact, his smile widened even more. “Then, I hope you will have an amazing day, my darling Anne.”

Anne felt like her chest might explode from the power of emotions she felt all at once. How could he be so amazing? He truly was a prince in disguise from the pages of her novels. She placed her hands around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. She was perfectly aware of how inappropriate it was for them to be kissing in public when they weren’t yet married, but she didn’t care; her emotions had gotten too big for her to not do something. Gilbert pulled her even closer to him when he kissed her back. Anne’s heart was soaring.

“I will tell you everything once we’re back,” she said once they broke the kiss.

For good measure, she planted one last kiss on his cheek before she turned on her heels and headed back to the stairs, sending him a flying kiss when he was almost out of the view. “I love you!”

“I love you too!” she heard him shout after her. 

Anne truly felt like the happiest girl on earth.

“You and Gilbert?!” Tillie cried out in astonishment. “Oh my!”

“How long have you been courting?” Josie asked. “My mum told me about it in her latest letter, but she didn’t give me many details.”

“About two months,” Anne replied.

They were sitting in the parlour at Queen’s. Anne and Diana weren’t allowed in the girls’ rooms as they weren’t yet students, so any hope for privacy had been snatched away from them. There were many cute, small garden tables that were surrounded by matching chairs scattered around the parlour, and every table was occupied. An older student on the other side of the room was holding hands with her intended, and they were clearly having a very intimate conversation as they were whispering into each other’s ears and sometimes a slight blush creeped up on the girl’s cheeks, followed by a giggle.

Josie nodded and then turned to look at all of the girls. “I mean, I suppose that was bound to happen, both the Cuthberts and the Blythes have nearly the same social standing so it only makes sense. Besides, it was about time Anne was promised to someone, she is eighteen after all,” she said with a tone of confidence, as though she had done a very profound research on the matter. 

“That is so romantic!” Ruby commented dreamily. “I wish Moody would propose to me already,” she added and leaned her elbows against the table, resting her head on her hands. 

“We are not married yet,” Anne rushed to correct.

“You are as good as,” Ruby said.

“How typical is it that once we are out of town, something interesting happens? When did anything interesting happen when we lived in Avonlea?” Jane asked them all under her lashes.

“Us courting is hardly interesting to an outsider,” Anne said, not liking how this conversation was focused on her. They had come here to talk about being at Queen’s, not to gossip!

Diana realised her friend’s discomfort and jumped in to help. “How about you? How has your life been here? How are the teachers and the classes?”

“This university is absolutely fantastic,” Josie said. “We have competent teachers in all of our classes. Here you will actually have to study to succeed and be on top of your classes, and the exams are really challenging.”

Tillie, Jane and Ruby nodded in agreement. “Being here makes you feel so important, like you are a part of something big,” Tillie added.

“The older students are a huge influence here,” Jane said. “Everyone wants to act like them to not appear like a child before them. I, for one, feel much more mature now than I did last summer.”

“You all seem so mature,” Diana agreed with a smile. There was clear excitement on her face after hearing the girls’ praise for Queen’s. 

“This place really sounds like a dream come true,” Anne said, looking around the parlour and letting her gaze linger on small details like the floral prints on the wallpaper and the empty, white vases that stood on top of short pillars. “I can’t wait to sit the entrance exams soon.”

“Gilbert is letting you attend Queen’s?” Tillie asked curiously.

Her words caught Anne’s attention and she tore her gaze off the room and turned to look at her friend with an incredulous look. “Why wouldn’t he?”

“Well, he could want you to stay at home and take care of the household,” Tillie elaborated.

Anne still didn’t understand. “How could he have a say on that? It’s my life, he has no right to decide how I live it.”

“Uhm, yes he can, Anne,” Josie said with a bored expression. “Being the head of your household, he has every right to choose your place in it for you.”

“But that’s horrible! Why would any woman ever subject to that?” 

“That’s how it has always been. Seriously, didn’t anyone go through the rules with you?”

“No,” Anne replied uncertainly. “Rachel tried, but I wasn’t paying much attention at the time. But it’s not like that with Gilbert, he lets me be my own person and doesn’t want to interfere. He would never, ever make me stay at home,” she added defensively. The Gilbert she had learned to know would never sink that low.

Ruby exhaled loudly and looked at Anne with admiration. “You’re so lucky to have Gilbert! I wish I knew Moody’s intentions, but I am sure he will also let me finish my education.”

“And Paul mine,” Tillie said with a sense of pride in her voice. 

Anne wasn’t exactly sure which one of the two Pauls Tillie was referring to, but she smiled at her and Ruby nevertheless. It was wonderful to hear that her friends would be able to go down their own paths; to Anne it sounded absolutely ridiculous that someone else could shape the future for her. 

The older student across the room laughed out loud at something her intended had said, making many heads turn in their direction. They were standing by their table, and the girl was covering her mouth with her gloved hand to muffle the sounds of her laughter. The man was grinning at her mischievously and took her free hand to place a kiss on it before exiting the room.

Anne sighed happily at the view before her. She could easily imagine her and Gilbert in place of those two strangers, conversing about nothing and everything and gently teasing each other. 

And with that, she realised that there were a great many things to look forward to in her future.


	14. Back in Avonlea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies! I hope you like this chapter! <3

When their train from Charlottetown finally arrived in Avonlea, they were almost immediately greeted by the sight of Mr. Blythe and Mr. Barry who had come to pick them up. Anne hadn’t seen Mr. Blythe many times after Gilbert was destined to be her husband, so his presence made her a tad bit nervous. 

“Gilbert, Anne, Diana,” he said, looking at all of them in turn, “welcome back to Avonlea. I suppose you had a pleasant weekend?”

“We did,” Gilbert said. A smile spread across his face as he glanced at Anne. It was dangerously contagious, and soon they both were looking at each other grinning.

“We met so many interesting new people,” Diana said, completely oblivious to Gilbert and Anne’s silent exchange next to her. “And it was lovely to meet some old acquaintances, too.”

Mr. Barry chuckled. “Well, Aunt Josephine does have a very peculiar circle of friends, doesn’t she? You never know what to expect to walk into her house!”

Anne tore her eyes off Gilbert’s and turned to face Mr. Barry with a frown. “Aunt Jo keeps an open mind and doesn’t judge anyone for what they are, don’t you think that is a very admirable quality, Mr. Barry? I, for one, think the world would be a far more beautiful place if everyone was like her.”

Mr. Barry just smiled at Anne, giving her a ‘not sure what you’re talking about’ kind of look before turning his attention to Diana and the massive dress box she had placed on the ground. “I’ll be taking this, could you carry your bag to the carriage, Diana?”

“Of course,” she replied immediately. She adjusted her grip on the bag, glanced at Anne and Gilbert one more time with a small smile and a ‘see you’, and followed her father to the carriage.

“So, should we be off then, too?” Mr. Blythe said and reached out his hand to offer to carry Anne’s bag for her. “We should be home in the late afternoon if we leave now.”

“Thank you, Mr. Blythe,” Anne said as gracefully as she could and gave it to him. She was determined to impress Gilbert’s father; she had no idea that a life with romantic feelings for someone would raise the pressure of being the best version of yourself so drastically. Her books definitely didn’t prepare her for the right things.

“Please, call me John. We’re almost family,” he said with a broad smile.

“Thank you, John,” Anne corrected.

Gilbert, being the gentleman he was, took Anne’s dress box from the ground without a moment of hesitation and began to walk towards their carriage. When she tore her eyes off the box to look up at Gilbert in the eyes, she found him already looking at her, and once their eyes met he winked at her and flashed his teeth playfully. Anne let out a surprised laughter and was instantly reminded of the first day they had seen each other after the marriage news was broken on her. How stunned had she been by his boldness! She shook her head in amusement at the memory and followed Gilbert and his father to the carriage.

They arrived at Green Gables in the late afternoon as John had predicted. During their journey, Anne and Gilbert had told him everything about the masquerade (leaving out the parts where they had been kissing) and what they had done in Charlottetown (also leaving out the parts where they had been kissing). There were enough stories to be told to last the entire drive, and when Anne saw the ever-so familiar fence surrounding Green Gables, she hadn’t even realised how fast time had flown by. Soon she would be telling the exact same stories to Marilla and Matthew, and she could hardly contain her excitement.

The carriage came to a halt just in front of the house and Anne, Gilbert and Mr. Blythe hopped out. The solid ground felt securely steady after sitting on the carriage going down bumpy roads for such a long time. Anne stared at Green Gables and sighed happily; it felt like she had been gone for much longer than just the weekend.

“I’ll have to talk to the driver,” John said with a knowing smile and disappeared to the other side of the carriage, giving Anne and Gilbert some privacy.

“I had the most wonderful time,” Anne said.

“I, too,” Gilbert replied.

They got closer to each other as if being pulled by magnets, and Anne could feel Gilbert’s breath against her cheek. Her own seemed to be caught in her throat.

“I’ll see you soon?” he asked softly.

She nodded. “I hope very soon.”

He chuckled at that. He put his hand on her other cheek and slid it slowly down to place it on her jawline, gently pulling her into a kiss. Anne felt a gazillion emotions all at once; she was sure she’d never have enough of these kisses.

“I will pay you a visit at the beginning of next week,” Gilbert promised once they broke the kiss. 

Anne nodded again, unable to form words. Her head was still buzzing and her mind was soaring up in the clouds. “See you then,” she finally managed to say.

Gilbert smiled, took her hand and planted a kiss on it. They let their gazes linger on each other for a few extra moments before saying each other good-bye. Mr. Blythe appeared again and he and Gilbert got back into the carriage and were off. Anne waved at them until they had gone through the gate. She picked up the dress box and her bag, and sprang towards Green Gables as fast as she could.

She stormed into the house, still high on the kiss, ready to tell Marilla and Matthew everything about her weekend in Charlottetown. She dropped the dress box by her feet in the hallway and began searching for them, finding them sitting face-to-face in the dining hall. 

“Oh, Marilla and Matthew, you can’t believe how-”

Her words got stuck in her throat when she noticed the obvious concern on Marilla’s and the uneasiness on Matthew’s features. Once they realised Anne’s presence, they tried their best to conceal their worry and act like nothing was out of place.

“Yes, my dear?” Marilla said in a slightly shaky voice.

“What’s wrong?” Anne asked as she walked towards the dining table.

“Uh, well, no, nothing’s wrong,” Matthew said but he was avoiding Anne’s eyes. Marilla just nodded in approval and smiled.

“How was the masquerade?” Marilla asked conversationally, having finally collected herself.

“Please, something is up, you have to tell me,” Anne pleaded. “I cannot rest until you tell me what weighs down your hearts.”

Marilla and Matthew exchanged a look and seemed to have a serious conversation with their eyes, as they didn’t say anything but they both heaved a sigh at the end, as though they had just agreed on something.

“It’s just…” Marilla began unsurely, not quite sure where to place her hands. Eventually, she let them rest on her lap. “Matthew and I have been thinking about the future we have chosen for you. We wanted to make sure that it would be as secure as possible, and admittedly we - well, I - selfishly thought about the honour of our family name as well, but we didn’t expect you to take it all so heavily. All your qualms about marriage and Gilbert gave us some, too, and now we can’t help but wonder whether we have made the wrong decision in deciding on your future without your consent. Maybe it would have been better if we had let you draw your own path and marry whoever you wanted to? After some pondering, we now realise how difficult this all must have been to you, especially given how much your dreams at the orphanage gave you the strength to go on.”

Anne was stunned for a moment. She just stared at the two most important people in her life with her mouth shaped into an O, unable to think of anything to say. She hadn’t expected such a confession today of all days, and Marilla’s words took their sweet time sinking in.

Once Anne had collected herself, her mouth curled up into a soft smile. She sat down on the chair next to Marilla and took her hand in hers, then reached the other one across the table for Matthew to take hold of.

“Thank you,” she began with a tone of gratitude. “I must say that I strongly disagree with the idea of arranged marriage and I find it very old-fashioned, and at first I was really scared of diving headfirst into the unknown. I felt as though something was trying to drown me and the only way to move forward was to dive even deeper. But I got lucky. All my dreams about marriage and first kisses came true. I love Gilbert and he loves me back, and I can’t think of a better person to share my future with. We treat each other as equals and I hold that very dear to my heart.”

The relief was nearly touchable on Marilla and Matthew’s faces. Marilla was breathing heavily as though she had been holding her breath, and Matthew was trying to subtly wipe off the tear coming from his eye. They both were smiling broadly at Anne.

“My dear Anne,” Marilla said in a voice that this time was shaky from happiness rather than nervousness. “I can’t begin to tell you how big a stone you just lifted off our hearts. Do you think you will find it in you to forgive us for acting so foolishly?”

Anne squeezed Marilla’s hand. “I do wish I would’ve been able to make the choice myself, but in the end, I think I am grateful for what you did because I never would have gotten to know Gilbert better if it weren’t for the marriage. Right now I am not sure I could ever imagine myself by anyone else’s side but his. So there’s nothing for you to ask forgiveness for, I know you both only wanted what was best for me, and I think you really did succeed in that.”

“You, uh, seem really happy,” Matthew said and smiled a little. 

“I am the happiest I have ever been,” Anne said, a warmness filling up her chest. She had never imagined being in love would feel so fulfilling and so right; like the first rays of the sun in the early spring, the ones that finally granted some warmth after a cold winter.

After a moment of them just looking at each other with fondness, Matthew spoke again; “Now, tell us about your weekend. We would love to hear all about it.”

Anne exhaled excitedly and fixed her posture on the chair. She released her hold on Marilla and Matthew’s hands and clapped hers together in front of her chest. “Oh, you will not believe how wonderful it was!”

They spent the rest of the day by the dining table, Anne sharing stories about the masquerade and the visit to Queen’s, and Matthew and Marilla asking her a lot of follow-up questions, and Anne asking about their weekend in return. 

It was precisely this state of mind Anne wished she could stay in for the rest of her life. She was happy, content and confident, and she didn’t want anything to burst that feeling. The puzzle pieces of her life had finally found their places and, in a way, she knew it would take a lot to break that puzzle again.


End file.
